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Month: March 2009

March 2, 2009 England / West Indies

Our numbers are bigger than your numbers, so your numbers can kiss our numbers’ arses

< 1 minute readWho was the winner here? Not England. Not West Indies. Not cricket. Not the crowd. After many calculations, we’ve deduced that the winner was, rather unexpectedly, Michael Flatley. Nobody wants that. This match was like watching a dot matrix printer run off sheets and sheets of binary code. Something was

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March 2, 2009 West Indies

Ramnaresh Sarwan’s batting form – sublime/ridiculous

< 1 minute readRamnaresh Sarwan’s current batting form is so sublime, it’s ridiculous. To average 150 this series with a worst score of 94 is sublime. To outdo Shivnarine Chanderpaul in terms of crease occupation is just ridiculous. We’ve a sneaking suspicion that Ramnaresh Sarwan may have become a sadhu. Sadhus are famed

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March 1, 2009 Australia

Phil Hughes scores runs when others don’t

< 1 minute readThose of you who haven’t irreparably damaged your memories through inadequate preparation may remember that we told you this about Phil Hughes the day before yesterday. Phil Hughes top-scored for Australia with 75. The next highest score was 37.

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Latest comments

  1. Tim on Ashes 1st Test preview: How fast is the pitch at Perth’s Optus Stadium? Who should be afraid? How ridiculous are England? Can Australia possibly counter them?November 19, 2025

    The cold and snow etc help me feel ready. This is when I need to hear a distant voice on…

  2. Ged Ladd on Ashes 1st Test preview: How fast is the pitch at Perth’s Optus Stadium? Who should be afraid? How ridiculous are England? Can Australia possibly counter them?November 19, 2025

    We’re with APW on this one. It is obscenely cold. Daisy and I simply cannot entertain thoughts of the Ashes…

  3. King Cricket on Ashes 1st Test preview: How fast is the pitch at Perth’s Optus Stadium? Who should be afraid? How ridiculous are England? Can Australia possibly counter them?November 19, 2025

    And then there are all the unlikely injury possibilities as well.

  4. Professor Colin Abernathy on Ashes 1st Test preview: How fast is the pitch at Perth’s Optus Stadium? Who should be afraid? How ridiculous are England? Can Australia possibly counter them?November 19, 2025

    Even the potential for ridiculous injuries is sky-high. Mark Wood to fall off his imaginary horse and break his collarbone?…

  5. King Cricket on Ashes 1st Test preview: How fast is the pitch at Perth’s Optus Stadium? Who should be afraid? How ridiculous are England? Can Australia possibly counter them?November 19, 2025

    Honestly, how could you be?

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A cat continuing to maintain almost ostentatiously conspicuous indifference to cricket
  • Conspicuous indifference to Dan Lawrence’s gyrations from a human being
  • Is Winter (the cat) truly indifferent to cricket?

RSS Match reports

  • Match Report: Ireland vs England, 2nd T20, Malahide
  • Keep your enemies closer | a 2019 Edgbaston Ashes Test match report
  • Match report: Sixes, Fulham

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A cricket book alongside Australia’s most ridiculous Ashes captain (statue)
  • DEVICE NEWS! (A match report being conspicuously indifferent to cricket in an unusual place)
  • A cricket bat in a Pigbag video

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Recent Posts

  • Ashes 1st Test preview: How fast is the pitch at Perth’s Optus Stadium? Who should be afraid? How ridiculous are England? Can Australia possibly counter them?
  • A cricket book alongside Australia’s most ridiculous Ashes captain (statue)
  • Jasprit Bumrah v four spinners, Bangladesh v Ireland, papal seal, Ashes filtration | Mop-up of the day
  • Joe Root’s efforts definitively prove that England do/don’t need a spinner for the first Ashes Test
  • Second chances, Average Joe and “the same sort of number three” | Ashes Nonsense Watch – Part 2

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