Posted by Send your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk. We’re only really interested in your own experience, so if it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. (But if it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.)
Sam writes…
Stag parties are typically raucous, rowdy affairs featuring depravity, debauchery and disarray. Thankfully, we are a bunch of tired cricket fans in our early 40s, so we opted for something much more civilised.
Sixes is a franchise of bars which ‘blends the thrill of cricket with a party atmosphere’, promising ‘a hilarious batting challenge powered by world-class sports technology… with craft cocktails, beers, epic beats and delicious shareable plates.’
As designated best man, I booked a 90-minute net for 13 guests.
Things got off to a shaky start when, typing in our names, the man in charge mistakenly entered ‘Pete’ as ‘Bete’. Pete was therefore known as Bete for the rest of the day. Banter!
As you might imagine, the level of batting skill varied wildly. Our stag for the day quickly hit his stride, middling everything and racing to the top of the leaderboard. The rest of us were embarrassingly out of nick.
As a whole, the Sixes experience was fun. It clearly works better with a smaller group, which would reduce the time each player is forced to wait for his or her turn.
A big screen in the bar was showing an India v England T20 game (I can’t remember which one and it doesn’t matter.) We calculated that 13 of us scored marginally more in our net than the 11 England players managed in 20 overs. Nobody quite knew what to make of this revelation.
The rest of the day passed very pleasantly indeed, with a darts tournament and a curry to round things off.
The wedding is this weekend. Or, if King Cricket sticks to his usual publication schedule, they are either awaiting the birth of their fifth child or finalising the divorce.
Sign up for the King Cricket email for more first-rate cricket reportage.
I went into one of these establishments a few years ago (possibly on a day that I ‘should’ have been at the England v India Test That Never Was in 2021).
The one in question had just opened and the bar staff had trouble putting our drinks order through and confirming that the payment had gone through. We didn’t have the time and/or inclination to have a go ourselves but enjoyed watching some other group navigating the ‘slog everything’ vs ‘try and look like you know what you’re doing’ dilemma, particularly acute for them as the bar was reasonably full of people just having a drink.
On the way out, we were called back by a security guard who accused us of leaving without paying for our drinks, which caused a delay as we went to go and find the member of bar staff who remembered the hassle of taking payment for our drinks all too well.
Sounds like Sam and co had a much better time.
Happy Wedding/3rd anniversary/decree nisi to the newly(or not that newly)weds, depending on how long ago this report dates from.
I seem to have transmogrified into a red oblong.
It’s a lovely match report, Sam, thanks. It doesn’t quite pass the “go into excruciating detail” test, verbally, but the pictures make up for that lack. Have you ever considered a career in the meeja?
The couple in question recently celebrated six months of wedded bliss. Which, by KC’s standards, makes this a contemporaneous report.
Watch your Josh Tongue, young man. Do you want to go to the back of the queue with your other one?