British Weather through to semi-finals of Champions Trophy


After a dominant performance against Australia/New Zealand and a narrow victory over Australia/Bangladesh, the British Weather has booked itself a place in the semi-finals of the Champions Trophy.

After displaying dreadful, relentlessly sunny form throughout May, UK meteorologists were left fearing that their side would be knocked out during the group stages. But there’s a reason why bookies fear the UK climate and it has pulled two magnificent performances out of the bag to move through to the last four with games to spare.

As so often, the hero in the match against Australia/Bangladesh was Regular Outbreaks of Rain. As the required run-rate dropped, it steadily imposed itself on the game until the result was in no doubt.

With Heavy Cloud Cover and Bad Light set to perform alongside each other in the semi-final after being unavailable for this day-night game, the British Weather will have high hopes of making the final, no matter who it comes up against.

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17 Appeals

  1. And everybody, once again, scores zero.


    • But the substitutions you made are deducted from your total limit of allowed substitutions?

      • I thought we agreed no substitutions?

      • Since there is a limit on total points, we have to pick a few low value players, whom I try to rotate around before each match. I more or less keep the high value players constant but rotate the minor ones (if time permits, and I can be bothered to do that)

  2. Somehow the weather is an integral part of cricket. When in the 2070s cricket takes place under the sky domes, and the Auto Weather Systems determine an appropriate level of sunshine, we* are going to miss the arhythmic interruptions of rain stopped play.

    * We may also be missing not being disembodied heads in nutrivats but that will have to do.

  3. Classic weather picture there – is that Old Trafford in 2005?

    • npower were the sponsors from 2001-2011 so that would be ‘in the ballpark’, as they say in cricket.

    • King Cricket

      June 6, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      Think it’s actually Edgbaston 2009. Saturday. Full day washout.

      We were there.

      • Something to tell your grandkids about.

      • King Cricket

        June 6, 2017 at 12:25 pm

        Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It was only last week that we went through the ways in which a batsman can be dismissed with the generation above. It’ll be at least a month until we’ve been through every cricket match we’ve ever attended.

  4. It has been utterly heaving it down here in London today, for all but a Bangladesh v Australia type period of time today.

    But England were playing Cardiff. Cunning, huh?

    So shove it, Chaac The Rain God. Shove it, Kiwis.

    England are the best ODI side in the whole world.

    I can’t spake.

  5. Ameya Vidwans

    June 6, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    I propose that British Weather are as much the defending champions as India.

  6. My acrostic-based selection policy precluded British Weather finding a place in the side.

    Would be happy to swap out somebody for one I. N. Clement Weather if the league’s governing body approved such a transfer.

  7. Typical British showing. Qualifies, then can’t be arsed with the remaining games.

    That was a pitiful performance yesterday. Pitiful!

  8. Why the fuck did cricket stop having reserve days?

    • Presumably money – staff, security, police etc all need to be paid for and there will be costs even if not needed, I’d expect.

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