Did you see… Virat Kohli after Moeen Ali clean bowled him for a duck?

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Virat Kohli is a man who struggles to come to terms with being bowled.

We assumed we’d already seen Kohli’s finest “I’ve just been bowled” face. And maybe, for a pure, single facial expression conveying sheer bafflement that such a thing could possibly have happened, the face he produced after Adil Rashid hit his stumps is still the best.

But when Kohli was clean bowled for a duck by Moeen Ali? Well that was a whole big thing all of its own. That was a thing we’re going to have to take a detailed look at right now.

This was the sequence of events.

The first thing that happened was that Moeen Ali clean bowled Virat Kohli through the gate with a fiendish delivery.

After being clean bowled through the gate by Moeen Ali, Kohli made this face in response.

There was a distinct note of “wow” about Kohli’s face when he was bowled by Adil Rashid that previous time. On that occasion you’d say the look was disbelief with an undercurrent of shock.

This time around disbelief tussled with confusion for supremacy – “wow” didn’t get a look in.

“Did that… happen?” he asked the umpire and Rohit Sharma, using body language alone.

Then, still visibly grappling to accept what had happened, he asked them much the same thing using words.

Then he turned round and checked his stumps.

Then he checked with Rohit again.

“Really?”

Kohli looked like a man who’s just watched that bit in Lost Highway where the character played by Bill Pullman goes to bed and then wakes up as an entirely different character played by Balthazar Getty.

“Did that happen? Did that ball really just bowl me?” he asked the cosmos.

“No,” he eventually concluded. “No, that did not happen.”

And so he stood there.

After trying to hit the ball, failing to hit the ball and then the ball hitting his stumps, Virat Kohli decided that the most appropriate course of action was to stay exactly where he was.

So he did. He stood there. And waited. And he stayed standing there for quite some time with his stumps spread behind him.

That is quite the move. You need quite a bit about you to see reality unfold, weigh up your response and then say “no” to it – just flat-out “no”.

So after being very obviously clean bowled by Moeen Ali, Kohli stood around and made everyone watch a replay of him being very obviously clean bowled by Moeen Ali.

Only then – only once the word “out” had been shown on a massive great big digital board in the ground – did India’s captain reluctantly accept reality and walk off the field.

Virat Kohli.


Let’s be honest, you’ll eventually succumb to our repeated hectoring recommendation that you sign up for our email, so you might as well get it over with and do it now.

23 comments

  1. It was magnificent to see that episode unfold in real time this morning. Even Daisy was stirred by the drama of it.

    It has been magnificent again to read all about it on this website.

    Thanks, KC.

  2. Talking about your hectoring recommendation that I should sign up for your email, why should I, considering that I have this site bookmarked and look at it pretty much every day, sometimes even more than once?

    1. You can move all the emails to a special folder and then you’ll have your own little pet version of the site to keep as well.

    2. I am also in the same situation, but have it as a pinned tab as well, meaning that when I check it I read nearly every single comment that has been put on here.

  3. Fell asleep at lunch. Had a dream that I was waiting to interview Jack Leach at the end of play. When my turn came, instead of Leach I was faced with my ex-girlfriend and her young daughter.

    1. Strange. I also had a nap during the lunch interval, and when I awoke I was momentarily certain that Moeen Ali had just entered the 190s, and that England had just gone past India’s first-innings lead.

      Valentine’s Day does strange things to those deprived of sleep.

      1. My surname is Valentine. After getting up before sparrow’s fart, I wondered whether I’d been named after the massacre.

  4. There’s no way Virat didn’t know he was bowled. I don’t know but someone should explain to him that regardless of how good you are, you’re going to get out now and then. And in those moments it’s prudent to just walk away rather than express amazement at what just happened- show some respect for the bowler and so forth.

    1. India now believes and acts like it is past coronavirus. Masks are still around, but social distancing is definitely out.

      We have had less than 100 deaths a day for more than 2 months. For as large a population as India’s, that is not a statistically significant number.

      The next test at Ahmedabad is sold out, that’s at a capacity of 100,000+.

  5. Can someone explain Cricket.com.au and Glenn Maxwell.
    Just looked on there and there is an article about him and how he is wanting a red ball return and to be in the team for tours of Asia. Only a few weeks ago there was another article on him and how he is not going to try to get back into the test team as there are guys much more suited for the job and better than him and he also says that there are many more batters/spinners better than him suited for test so it would be futile to try and get back in the team.
    Is this contradictory or what?

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