Dropping Jason Roy means England have finally achieved their 2007 goals

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It was coming. It’s happened. England have named their T20 World Cup squad and they’ve dropped Jason Roy.

In keeping with this website’s policy of actively spurning all the audience-attracting potential of writing about a topic when it’s “hot,” we said pretty much all we want to say about this matter a month ago. So go and read that piece if you haven’t already done so. Go on. You know you want to. It’s got a speedskater in it.

There is however a secondary point worth making, which is that Roy’s omission has belatedly helped England get where they so desperately wanted to be back in 2007. This, we’re sure you’ll agree, is excellent news.

‘But what exactly were England’s limited-overs goals 15 years ago?’ you probably ask.

England’s main limited overs goal in 2007 was to have a wicketkeeper opening the batting. This was because Adam Gilchrist opened the batting for Australia in one-day internationals back then and Australia were better than England.

Australia’s 2022 T20 World Cup squad basically features zero wicketkeeper-openers. Matthew Wade’s done the job before, but he’s been coming in down the order this year, while Josh Inglis has never yet opened for Australia in a T20.

In contrast, ALL of England’s T20 World Cup openers are wicketkeepers.

All of them.

Jos Buttler – wicketkeeper.

Jonny Bairstow – wicketkeeper.

Phil Salt – wicketkeeper.

England 3, Australia 0.

England are the best. England win the 2007 T20 World Cup on countback. Bad news for India and bad news for the subsequent birth of the IPL, but them’s the breaks.

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  1. Bairstow out of the third Test and T20 World Cup after injuring himself in a ‘freak accident’ while playing golf.

      1. Them’s the breaks. Why did predictive assume I meant Theo’s? And when I started typing this repost to my own posting, it thought I must mean “Theme’s”, which is a linguistic impossibility, unless of course you are a grocer (or predictive text).

  2. But wait…

    …the named replacement is Ben Duckett who is, if I am not much mistaken, himself a wicketkeeper.

    Your article is saved, KC, saved.

    Jonny B bowled you a metaphorical shocker down the leg side destined for a clipped four,, but Ben Duckett has metaphorically pulled off a blinder to take a metaphorical strangled catch one-handed at full stretch.

    1. We’re metaphorically leaping to our feet and inadvertently spilling ale over the person in front of us.

  3. That golf is a dangerous game is well known, but the injuries are usually either lightning related or else to someone other than the player. And it seems that JB wasn’t even playing golf at the moment of injury – he was walking to the tee.

    This raises some difficult questions for cricket. If walking can cause serious injury, cricket is going to have to seriously consider other ways of getting batsmen from the pavilion to the middle. Players can’t just be allowed to walk there all by themselves willy nilly. It could be carnage. No, the only answer is that they will have to swim there. And I hope none of the counties will quibble about the cost of installing a swimming lane to the crease, not when player’s safety is at risk.

    1. A swimming lane will likely mean they’ll drown a lot. All that kicking and thrashing will look unseemly.

      Arrival onto the middle via a Sedan chair would be far less unseemly. Same mode of transport to apply to departure from the middle as well.

      Maybe have said transport for the bowler as well for each run up.

      Nay, fielders too.

      1. Reckon they should bring back the runners rule for lame batters, but the runner has to carry the batter on piggy-back. Sedan chair is an alternative, but needs two runners?

  4. The Nottingham Skips win the big gold H!

    Now let us never speak of it again. When does the Test match start?

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