England warm-up Sri Lanka

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Umpire's spread arms just out of shot - genuinelyIt’s been very generous of England to attempt to sort out Sri Lanka’s opening vacancy within 24 hours of the retirment of Marvan Atapattu. Upul Tharanga made a hundred for the Board President’s XI and Sri Lanka’s muppets would appear to have an easy decision to make.

If there are any injuries to other Sri Lankan batsmen, that’s okay too, because Chamara Kapugedera also made a hundred. All in all, Sri Lanka’s reserves are primed for action after a great couple of days of batting practice against a representative England XXXIV.

England, for their part, have nine sets of bowling figures to pore over – all of which are crap. It would seem that Paul Collingwood and Ravi Bopara are likely to be opening the bowling come the first Test as their figures of 0-9 off three and 0-4 off one respectively, were far and away the pick of a pretty ugly bowling card.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Poor old Harmison, had to bowl without his innersoles, and promptly had 4-0-33-0 before lunch.. with 6 no balls and a wide…

    It got a little better after that, but good to see he’s firing on all cylinders

  2. And if Sri Lanka get really desperate, Thilina Kandamby got a century, too. This should cheer up any despondent Sri Lankan fans, anyway. Nothing like pounding on England to get your spirits up.

  3. When you’re fielding 32 players, you want them all to get a bit of practice, so it’s 50-and-out.

    Load of arse, these warm-up games. We miss proper tours where the minor matches were events in themselves.

  4. Boring. BORING. 50 and out is boring. Also how do you know who is in form in those conditions to go on for a biggie if everyone retires out at 50.

  5. From the looks of it, we’ll have no problems in the test matches, cos EVERYONE bar KP, is in form!


    Unfortunately, I’m guessing that what actually happens, is that KP is Englands top scorer. and the rest are shite.

    I do hope he brings the left handed slog sweep back out of the locker, such a delightful shot (page 43 in the MCC coaching manual, if I remember correctly)

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