English players in the heat and humidity of Sri Lanka

We’ve read a couple of things today about how English players will struggle with the heat and humidity in Sri Lanka. Graham Gooch described the conditions as ‘unnatural,’ which isn’t strictly accurate.

It strikes us that English cricketers should buck their ideas up. Sri Lanka may well be hot and humid, but the phrase ‘mad dogs and Englishmen’ wasn’t made in reference to the French.

With lightweight sports clothing and wicking body stockings, modern English cricketers are spoilt, molly-coddled little brats. It isn’t the English way to complain about the heat. It is the English way to just bloody well ignore the weather, no matter how extreme it might think it is.

Bring back tweed. What could be more English than standing in full sun, in 40 degree heat, clad head to toe in tweed, sipping a cool, refreshing glass of gin? That’s the way to stay fit for cricket in tropical climes. The moustache provides all the shade a gentleman needs.

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18 Appeals

  1. I agree completely! Tweed or at least old school flannels, with a silk scarf to keep the neck protected.

  2. I am sure Samit Patel disagrees with you.

  3. “It isn’t the English way to complain about the heat. It is the English way to just bloody well ignore the weather, no matter how extreme it might think it is.”

    That’s only if the weather actually does appear to be extreme. The English Way in England (where the weather varies between unremarkable and extremely unremarkable) is to both begin and end all possible conversations with a vague description of it.

  4. I once played a 30-minute game of tennis ball cricket in Colombo and it nearly killed me. I don’t know how they manage test matches there. But oh to be in Sri Lanka. Sigh.

  5. Does Laurence Elderbrook play in tweeds? I always imagine him in pristine whites, but perhaps I am mistaken.

    • King Cricket

      March 15, 2012 at 9:30 am

      To quote the man himself:

      “Resplendent in my cream flannels, I look immaculate.”

  6. Suave’s back. As in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything.

  7. Hello Douglas, I have never been away! Just too much cricket and not enough tweed, this hit my two favourite things..

    Also, I do have rather bad Sciatica, which is almost as bad.

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