Ghosts vanquished, aliens driven out, earth back on axis

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Gary Keedy completely runs-out Gemaal Hussain

It’s all going to be okay. Lancashire have won the County Championship.

Moments after it was confirmed, we got into our car, turned on the radio and were greeted with the perfect party music: Paranoia Man In Cheap Shit Room by The Fall – perfect if, like us, your idea of a party involves sitting around on your own listening to The Fall.

When we said ‘radio’ just then, we should more accurately have said ‘CD player’, but don’t blame us for our musical choice because what could be more appropriate at a time like this than The Fall? It is estimated that 30 per cent of all Lancastrians have played rhythm guitar in the band at one time or another. Like our cricket team, they’re a cultural touchstone.

We’re popping round the corner for a pint of Sawley Tempted now with which to toast Glen Chapple’s boys. Finally, Lancashire have given us a joyous reason to turn to alcohol.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. I’ll join you (metaphorically of course, given that the wife is away with work this week so I have to stay in with the kids, and we live in a different town, and you didn’t say where you were going). But I’ll join you nevertheless. When you are at the pub with your pint, consider yourself joined.

  2. Bit worried lest the Lanky triumph tip your axis into joyous cheeriness but pleased to see you are still a confirmed melancholic. You’re MY cultural touchstone O King

  3. Excellent link in the Similar Deliveries section, BTW. I wondered why a graph about England became linked, but then I got to the comment at the bottom that contained the phrase “underachieving numpties”. It will be 70 years before they can level that one at us again, KC.

  4. Breakfast time in the Ged Ladd household.

    Ged’s slumbers were disturbed last night by a party in the top flat – the one occupied by two fashionable young French women.

    Ged had no idea that there were swathes of Lancashire support in France. Or perhaps these trend-following young ladies had formed an immediate affinity with Middlesex simply by virtue of being in its midst these last couple of years.

    Around midnight, Ged considered going upstairs to join the increasingly lively-sounding county championship success celebrations to ask whether it was a Division One or Division Two championship-winning party. But Ged than thought better of it. Thursday had been a long day and Ged Ladd was already tired, emotional and articulate only in the third person.

    Many revellers noisily left the house at around one a.m. Peace was restored in W2.

    Congratulations to all you Lanky supporters who hang out here at King Cricket. Lancashire thoroughly deserved the County Championship this year.

  5. Could someone plot a pie chart of Lancastrians who have played either bass or rhythm guitar for the fall and appeared in the county championship, though not necesarily at the same time? Or don’t you do that kind of thing any more? Surely times like this demand a pie?

    1. Mmmm, pies.
      Mmmm, lunchtime.

      But pies are bad for you, and if you eat too many you will die.

      Wait a moment! That is a statement from “The Past”. In “The Past”, Lancashire weren’t County Champions and pies were bad for you. And that is no longer true. Oh happy day – pies are no longer bad for you. Lancashire are County Champions and you can eat as many pies as you want and you won’t die of over-pieing. Meat and potato, meat, steak and kidney, meat again – the list just goes on and on.

      Clear some room at the Pie Shop, I’m coming through!

  6. That was always the problem when Durham won the Championship; what music to put on.

    But at least one can boogie round the room in honour of this years table toppers. In both divisions. So A Certain Ratio and 23 Skidoo it is! [That may also kick start my aim of loosing some weight this winter too.]

    Middlesex have Steven Crook now – he sings, but presumably did not play in the guitar in the right way and thus had to leave Lancashire?

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