Graeme Swann takes five Test wickets

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< 1 minute read

Some kind of trendy dance or summat

It’s a big deal. Andrew Flintoff pretty much never manages it and he’s supposed to be the best bowler since the Bowlinator 9000 perfected the 95mph googly.

We don’t know for sure whether anyone ever followed our instructions as to how to help Graeme Swann into the England side from back in 2006, but it seems highly likely that someone did. Who says that persistent, mindless, entirely inappropriate shouting with no regard for the legal consequences never paid dividends?

Graeme Swann is bowling pretty well, batting a bit better, proving us right and acting as one of the better interviewees in Test cricket. We should be pretty happy, but the edge is taken off a bit because his presence constantly reminds us that Monty isn’t in the side.


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  1. As “Personal stylist to Mr. Swann & chief knob twiddler ” as designated on the Graeme Swann Superhero group on f/b can I jump up and down shouting “I told you so!”

    What with this, Ginja Colly’s zillion runs, the Wing Commander’s manly captaincy and KP being described as a drama queen I am loving this test so far – just need Harmison to kick some arse and it will be very heaven

  2. Two of your stalwarts seem to appreciate each other as well, Ceci. I wonder if Mr. Swann meant to reveal as much as he did when he said of Mr. Harmison, “He gets some stick from certain quarters but I’m all over him”?

  3. So, if I can summarise this thread so far:

    My manlove now belongs to Greame Swann… As… personal… knob twiddler… can I jump… the Wing Commander’s man… queen. I am loving this… arse… heaven… I… reveal… certain quarters but I’m… after boys.

    A fair summary, I think.

  4. I was just googling for some men and ended up here. What is going on? I don’t even like cricket, let alone the Durham Dynamos?

    Please can you like me to a more appropriate site, “King”?

  5. Nor is it a pink oboe.

    I’m really pleased to see Swann doing well but he isn’t likely to strike fear into the hearts of the Aussies.

    England still lack a world-class test spinner, as do all of the non-subcontinental teams right now.

    But for now, we make ourselves feel better by beating the West Indies and making lots of public school jokes.

    Ho-hum. Sigh.

  6. My body left the sixth form many years ago, but the joke centre of my brain is still there and showing no signs of leaving.

  7. Ged Ladd

    I don’t recall us ‘beating the West Indies’ much recently.

    Swann is at least as good as Ashes winner Ashley Giles.

  8. Ged, unfortunately the Saffers could soon have the services of Imran Tahir – I suppose it makes a change from their players leaving to play in other countries.

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