Footmarks for the spinner

2 minute read It’s a strange and wonderful sport where two members of the opposition who aren’t even on the pitch can aid your cause, but Graeme Swann can thank Trent Boult and Neil Wagner for three of his four wickets. The two left-armers created some beautifully scruffy turf for him to aim

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Graeme Swann, his cat and drink driving

< 1 minute read Another day, another cricket story where all the most important facts are being omitted. Graeme Swann’s defence for being caught driving while slightly under the influence at 3am was that he had to go and get some screwdrivers from Asda because the cat was caught under the floorboards. So many

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Graeme Swann interviews

< 1 minute read You want Graeme Swann to be man of the match every time he plays, because he’s head and shoulders above everyone else in world cricket when it comes to the post-match interview. Today’s offering after a consolation win that followed six consecutive defeats: “Everyone talks about this big word ‘momentum’.

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Graeme Swann’s joyous bat throwing

< 1 minute read After his lower order skittering, Graeme Swann claimed that Mushtaq Ahmed was his batting mentor. Graeme Swann’s pleasingly unafraid to tell outright lies every now and again, but we think he was serious about this. Mushtaq Ahmed shouldn’t be anybody’s batting mentor. You can’t just find the nearest person who’s

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Graeme Swann takes five Test wickets

< 1 minute read It’s a big deal. Andrew Flintoff pretty much never manages it and he’s supposed to be the best bowler since the Bowlinator 9000 perfected the 95mph googly. We don’t know for sure whether anyone ever followed our instructions as to how to help Graeme Swann into the England side from

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