Another day, another cricket story where all the most important facts are being omitted. Graeme Swann’s defence for being caught driving while slightly under the influence at 3am was that he had to go and get some screwdrivers from Asda because the cat was caught under the floorboards.
So many questions unanswered:
- Does the cat piss in his kit bag to claim it as its own?
- Why doesn’t Graeme own any screwdrivers? What does he use to ruin screw heads so that no-one can ever get them out again?
- Why does he drive a sportscar?
- What had he been drinking?
- Has the cat apologised for being an idiot?