Half of England in love with money

Posted by
< 1 minute read

Money could never buy this extraordinary level of loyaltyApparently half of the England team would consider retiring early to play in the IPL. The greedy blighters.

How dare they come down on the side of fiscal wealth against such lofty notions as pride, honour and respect. How dare they forfeit the unique opportunity to be slagged off in the press for a cross-batted heave in favour of something as mundane as cash. How dare they.

Ignoring the fact that they’re probably just trying to prise more money out of the ECB with thinly-veiled threats. Ignoring the fact that merely ‘considering’ early retirement is hardly a definitive statement, let’s commence with the knee-jerk finger-pointing.

Half the England team are proud, loyal representatives of this great nation. Half of them are money-grabbing mercenaries who’d probably strangle a squirrel for 50p. Who is what and why?

We’ll start you off: Kevin Pietersen is a proud, loyal representative of this great nation because he’s got a tattoo of the three lions just below his shoulder and inky feline arm-stains are legally binding.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. It’s a bloody outrage. I mean; English cricketers, roaming around the countryside, murdering squirrels!

    Something should be done!

  2. Only if it’s red squirrels. They’re well within their rights to viciously murder greys and that new menace, the black squirrel. Damn foreigners, coming here and nibbling our acorns…

  3. Love the tat – just be careful that KP doesn’t come after you for payment for the use of his photo. Don’t forget he’s got school fees to pay…..

  4. A masterpiece Ceci.

    Looks like a cracking new picture series for the King: ‘Cricketers eating the head off things’.

    Hmm…..on second thought maybe not.

Comments are closed.