Joe Denly, Kent

Posted by
< 1 minute read

Joe Denly or James Hildreth? Joe Denly or James Hildreth? Joe Denly’s nickname is ‘No Pants’. Decision made.

Plus Joe Denly gets to open the batting with Rob Key. Spend any amount of time in Rob’s vicinity and a little bit of genius is bound to rub off. We managed to do an entire wordsearch once while we were waiting in a car outside his house. Ordinarily we’d never have managed that, but Rob must have left just a faint whiff of genius in his bin and it must have attached itself to us during the rummaging.

Joe Denly’s so lucky. He gets to do ‘talking’ with Rob in between overs. We’ve got a whole shoebox full of questions for Rob for when we get to have a go at ‘talking’.

One time we were watching Rob on telly and we told him to leave the next delivery if he wanted us to buy him some ice cream. He played the next delivery and we could tell that he was telling us he didn’t want ice cream. If we can communicate that well with him USING ONLY OUR MIND, think how well we could communicate with him using ‘talking’.

Joe Denly’s 22 and a handy batsman. We’ll be watching him out of the corner of our eye while the main part of our eye is FIRMLY TRAINED on Rob Key.

More cricketers to watch in 2008.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. I shall make sure I watch Joe Denly when I visit the St Lawrence this year because you’ve instructed me to.

  2. I shall keep an on eye on this young bucks waistline, to see if any of the “Key’s” eating habits rub off, in the same his genius does.

  3. I thought to myself yesterday, do i want ice cream, and i decided i didn’t, must have been Key playing a delivery at the time.

  4. And you right the way down there in Melbourne. The man has powers of extraordinary magnitude.

  5. His Pinkness has his own dedicated fansite on Facebook – Robert Keys: Am I hot or not? So in addition to being a genius and a telepath he is also a sex icon. Young Mr No Pants could have no better mentor.

  6. I should also like to draw attention to Joe’s own dedicated fansite on facebook, titled, imaginatively, The Joe Denly Appreciation Society, where some of us have been celebrating the wide range of his talents in their various forms since last summer…. I can happily report that when last viewed (in the indoor nets at the St Lawrence Ground only last week), the Commando waistline was looking pretty lean. Lovely stuff!

  7. If any England selectors are reading this, please note that Denly is rubbish – it’s certainly not worth your while picking him for the England side this summer.

    Leave him be at Kent. PLEASE!

  8. Excellent point, Mark! Ditto Bobby and Treddars, who are equally useless…

Comments are closed.