Mark Stoneman took the long way round

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Mark Stoneman (via Surrey Twitter)

We’ve done this one already. Mark Stoneman has finally turned up in an England squad about a month after we expected him to. He’s a patient man though – the oldest something-or-other to maybe do something, according to a piece we read earlier.

We’ve covered Mason Crane too, so you’ve no excuse for not being ahead of the game on this one too. In contrast to Stoneman, he will be the youngest something-something who might be about to something. Probably.

We haven’t actually read anything about Crane’s call-up yet, but he is very young, so it seems safe to assume that he can lay claim to at least one ‘youngest to…’ type thing. Youngest double-surnamed leg-spinner to carry the drinks for England, say.

Poor Adil Rashid. He appears to have been deemed too flakey for Test cricket.

Also, Chris Woakes’s back! As in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. A confident move there employing the back joke with a -s-ending surname. Brave.

    What I mean to say is, the back joke about a surname ending in an ess’s back! As in, you’ve decided to give it a go, despite maybe having previous reservations.

    1. On an apostrophic (spell-check is redlining that one but I looked it up and it is an actual word) note, I have decided to amend my comment under the previous post:

      Rashid really shouldn’t have run over the puppy of the Chairman of Selectors on his lawnmower while grass-arting rude comments about the chap’s wife in their front garden, but it probably didn’t help that he scratched the selectorial Jag on his way out.

  2. Would have been nice if Crane had got a tryout in the previous series, I’ve been internally ‘singing’ “..And Mason Crane’s bowled South Africa/didn’t take much time to take the wickets of all 10” to the tune of Toto’s Africa all morning, and now I’m worried he’ll progress from Next Big Thing to Not As Good As Moeen to We’ve Already Tried Him by the time it would even be theoretically relevant.

    1. “And Mason Crane’s bowled Sri Lanka out”, would also work as well (ie not that well), although the lack of reference to an African nation or landmark might somewhat devalue the already dubious value of picking that particular tune.

      From Ged’s linked anecdote, clearly this is a topic that evokes strong feelings, which used to be the antithesis of the editorial line on this website, so I’d better leave it there.

  3. I’d hereby like everyone to keep an eye on Dom Bess of Somerset please. Full of pith and vinegar that one. Or cider.

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