Hayden’s gone down the ‘being prodded’ route in trying to recover from his hamstring injury.
That’s what we’ll tell the police when they find us crouched in his garden, jabbing at a doll of his likeness with a needle: we’re aiding his recovery.
While we were on holiday, the only cricket dream we had was one where Matthew Hayden was really upset because we’d said that he personified all that was wrong with modern cricket.
We felt really bad about it and tried to weasel our way out of it by saying that it wasn’t him, it was merely that he highlighted others’ shortcomings very effectively.
It is him though.