Momentum has raised its meaningless head

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If cricketers’ use of the word ‘momentum’ were given physical form, we’d like to meet it.

Even if it were an innocent-looking child holding a balloon, we’d still have no qualms about punching it square in the face with all our might. We’d watch the balloon floating skywards and think to ourselves that we’d made the world a better place.

After England’s largely inadequate performance in the first Test, Andrew Strauss said:

“Momentum is a massive thing and what happened today will give us a big lift for the rest of the Ashes.”

Teams can seemingly take momentum from just about any carefully selected moment during a five-day Test match.

Mitchell Johnson’s probably taken momentum from the rare deliveries where he didn’t miss the cut strip.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. You have a long-term downer on the word momentum, KC and it has to be said that your tirade against that innocent little collection of syllables has gathered momentum of late.

  2. Momentum? Things going downhill rapidly have a lot of the stuff, I seem to remember from physics lessons.

    However, at least it’s a better start than we made in the last series. Better than in 2005, too, at least in terms of a result, if not in showing an ability to properly compete; we haven’t had a better result in the first test of an Ashes series since 1997 at Edgbaston (ah, Gough and Caddick running through the Aussies in the first innings, and Hussain’s 200…happy days…). That probably indicates much more than how dire we’ve mostly been between those dates more than anything else, though.

  3. Momentum is something that builds on what you already are producing.

    In England’s case, i shudder to think, then, what will be produced for Lords.

  4. Inzy used to have a lot of momentum once he had completed the 22 yard dash. Trouble is he’d usually just run the guy out at the other end.

  5. He was nearly right though. He just needed to say, “Momentum is a massive thing MULTIPLIED BY ITS SPEED.”

    In terms of what he was talking about though, I’m just pleased that they are bouyant. If they were going into Thursday’s match saying how bad they all were at cricket, and how the Aussies were desperately unlucky not to inflict a humiliating innings defeat on us, then we’d be in trouble.

  6. Hey i’ve got momentum for you straussy, the momentum of a sledge hammer to smash you and the other 4 cunts who forgot how to bat you public school fucktard.]

    Stop talking and go to lords and bat fucker and fucking don’t stop fucking batting until you fucker can barely lift your fucking bat.

  7. Narkins is a winner!!

    That kind of outburst is exactly what Collingwood should’ve been saying to the rest of The England. Public school pussies.

  8. Cheers Sauve

    Colly might not have said it in public but he certainly wasn’t a happy fucker, when he raised his bat he looked like he might kill someone in the pavilion. He more stabbed his bat at them than raised it.

    I also noticed that he sat away from everyone else after he got out, possibly a mixture of anger at himself for playing such a shot and to prevent 5 cases of murder first degree being read out to him in court.

  9. seems that Strauss read what narkins said, with his public school brain he must have known what was going to happen as the batsmen at the other end got out for 32, 16, 8 ,4 ….

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