South Africa aren’t exactly easy to beat

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< 1 minute read

It was nearly a fitting send-off for Graeme Smith from a team hewn in his image (and ‘hewn’ is the only appropriate word to use). This South Africa side are dogged, resilient, they bat for ages and they’re prone to fourth innings performances that defy received wisdom.

Fortunately for Australia, they had a massive, massive lead and absolutely ages to take 10 wickets. They just about managed it thanks to two spanking deliveries from Ryan Harris (and you wouldn’t bet against it being his last Test either).

After the match, while both teams shook hands, Shane Warne went further and hugged everyone. A frighteningly elated Mark Nicholas then said ‘magnificent full balls’ to Ryan Harris and it sounded horrendous. Mitchell Johnson didn’t sound elated. He sounded drab and depressed, but he was probably just tired.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. After nearly 80 hours of play it all comes down to the last hour on the last day of the last test.
    Does it get any better?

  2. 5 Days
    4 Innings
    40 Wickets
    540 Overs
    3,240 legal deliveries

    10 minuts to 6pm on the last day with 27 balls remaining.

    How could you not love this?

    1. Nathan it’s more than that:
      13 Days
      12 Innings
      101 Wickets
      1200+ Overs
      72000+ legal deliveries
      The whole series result (not just the match) hinged on the final few minutes of play available.
      Although as a colleague put it – most people don’t have the concentration to last between commercial breaks, never mind a single test or a series.

  3. Everything Mark Nicholas says is awful. I hate everything about him, including his face, with something close to pathological intensity, but I really really hate how deeply he buries his tongue in the Australian cricket side’s rectum and just keeps licking. The man is an epic tit.

  4. I’d also like to ad my dislike for Mark Nicholas. I don’t think that I can really add a great deal Rcaugust hasn’t said, but to say that he doesn’t just have a brown nose, but face, shoulders and majority of upper body. Every Australian wicket or run seems to be the best thing since sliced bread to him. Between him on live commentary and Bob Willis in the Sky studio, it makes for cringe worthy viewing.

    The cricket was pretty special however.

  5. Mark Nicholas thinks he is Australian.

    Sonebody should tell him: “Mark Nicholas, you are not Australian.”

    On a related note, Nick Knight really needs to shut up more.

    1. His continuous spouting of sentimental bullshit makes me queasy. He can’t go two sentences without using the word courage.

    2. I concur with your thoughts on Mark Nicholas. He’s a gusher; a gusher of sickly sweetness. Like a cynically produced wine, where they up the sugar content, it tastes nice at first but you wake up with a terrible hangover and type II diabetes. Perhaps they should consider a tax on him.

  6. Johnson bowled an obscene number of overs in the last innings, usually only spin bowlers do that much. Surprised he could speak at all.

    Saffers are mad for deadbatting. Incredible end to match.

  7. I would also like to go on record declaring my dislike for Mark Nicholas. Mostly because I want to fit in.

  8. I must be hopelessly naive but I quite like Mark Nicholas . He genuinely seems to love cricket , as opposed to wishing he were a professional footballer or golfer the way most people paid through the game seem to do . If I am hopelessly naive and it is an act, and least he’s gone to the trouble of putting it on for our benefit….sorry….

    1. Get out of here. None of the cool guys think you are welcome.

      Right, cool guys?

      Cool guys?

    2. You’re right Spencer, he does seem to genuinely love the game. He’s just a bit…much.

  9. “The man who said Mark Nicholas wasn’t all bad….”….I’ll get my coat

    actually typing this , I’ve only just realised what blatant rip off that Fast Show sketch riff was.

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