Even by the lofty doublespeak standards of a Test match press conference, this was an impressive effort from Mickey Arthur after Pakistan were bowled out for 123 by West Indies’ Devendra Bishoo.
“I am not going to take anything away from the way Bishoo bowled because he bowled really, really well. I thought we gave him eight soft wickets.”
One can only presume that Bishoo was incredibly unlucky with pretty much all his non-wicket-taking deliveries but then dismissed batsmen with each of his eight poor deliveries thanks to terrible shots.
We thought this when we saw him bowl during the World Cup. Devendra Bishoo is one of a fair few promising West Indies bowlers knocking about at the minute.
The problem is, it’s a challenge for these bowlers to retain enthusiasm when the batsmen only ever give them 200 to bowl at. The West Indies haven’t found a proper batsman since Chris Gayle and that’s a really long time when you consider that he’s passed through being a captain and is now in a phase where the West Indies Cricket Board imply that he’s a knobhead. This generally only happens when you’re starting to get on a bit.
Fortunately for the West Indies, they’re currently playing a Test against Pakistan, a nation with an even greater aversion to run scoring. Devendra Bishoo’s 4-68 helped give the Windies a 66-run lead, even though they only scored 226 themselves.
The Windies top order have attempted to fritter away that advantage in the second innings, but Shivnarine Chanderpaul is still to come. At 36, you’d think he’d be sick of this by now.
“How have you idiots not learned anything from me in the last decade?” he might reasonably ask. “Do you suffer from all three major forms of retardation?”