Will Pankaj Singh ever get a Test wicket?

Posted by
< 1 minute read

Luckless at the Rose Bowl, mediocre at Old Trafford, Pankaj Singh has thus far found two ways to avoid taking a Test wicket. Our worry is that two will prove enough; that he’ll fail to take a wicket in this match and will never return to the team.

It’s become a ‘thing’ now. People talk about how many balls he’s bowled without success. “Oh, Pankaj!” they cry as another impassioned appeal peters out, unfulfilled.

We’ll be at Old Trafford today and we’ll be delighted if Pankaj gets that first wicket. If he gets a second, we’ll be nonplussed. A third and we’ll basically hate him.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. It’s the way that Jonathan Agnew says “Pankaj” in that rumbling tone of voice as he rushes in to bowl.

  2. The only time I came across the name Pankaj before, was at a client of mine 25+ years ago.

    A gentleman who worked in the accounts department was named Pankaj. He liked to be known as Mr Pankaj, even though Pankaj was his first name.

    Mr Pankaj was also a rather luckless fellow.

    When the commentators refer to Pankaj, it often pops into my head, “shouldn’t they say Mr Pankaj?”

  3. …and within moments of me typing the above comment, Dhoni brings on Mr Pankaj and he gets a wicket with a leg side strangle.

    I think I’ll refer to him as “Lucky Mr Pankaj” from now on.

  4. I hope you enjoyed yourself KC. A mate of mine has tickets for tomorrow – I’d like you to have his email so as you can send him a long description of how good it was.

    1. I had tickets for tomorrow. At least now I can have a lie in, and don’t have to spend a whole day waiting for the inevitable announcement of play being called off.

      Plus, England won.

  5. Well well. I don’t know if anyone here has read Ed Hawkins’ ‘Bookie, Gambler, Fixer, Spy’, but if you have it’s hard to watch a collapse like that without at least a hint of suspicion. Let’s hope it was all genuine.

    1. I didn’t go there. I just took a glance down the street that leads there before continuing on my way. If it turns out there was something down that road, you heard it here first.

  6. KC, you must have had an amazing day. I’m really pleased for you.

    Pankaj’s batting is a joy to behold. Only trouble is, if you blink you might miss it.

  7. Meanwhile … Well at least the ‘Playgue of Extraordinary Gentlemen’ managed to climb 2 spots overall despite having only being ranked 117 this test. Something to cheer about.

    1. I ranked in the 70s for this test, and I’m still two places ahead of p = mv overall. Ha!

    2. (I’m not struggling to catch up, I’m just conserving my momentum…)

      We’ve got three slots in the first eleven now, plus Bowljob taking second place overall in the fourth test.

      I just want to see one of us disrupt that awful alliteration at the top of the table.

    3. Oh wow, that is terrible. I agree that something must be done.

      …Fancy actually doing something, Che-Pu?

    4. I was mildly startled to find myself up so high. It is the first time I got 11 players playing but then 2 of them weren’t playing by the end.

      I’m a bit disappointed that I don’t get one of those bracelets though because my feet hurt today.

  8. Generally, if India played Varun Aaron, Praveen Kumar and future Amit Mishra, they would have one of the better bowling attacks. They would have the worst bowling captain. Michael Clarke can be excused because he doesn’t have any bowlers. This is because people have not been finding the new Shane Warne and have instead been finding many types of bowlers.

Comments are closed.