Johnson Watch feature dropped

Posted by
< 1 minute read

The right arm is CLEARLY the doing arm

We are sad to announce that the Johnson Watch feature is being dropped after just one instalment.

The main reason for this is that the protagonist failed to hold up his side of the bargain. He didn’t bowl badly while hinting that he could bowl brilliantly at some point soon. He just bowled badly.

Johnson says he needs to get his head straight. Not sure what means. Probably something about needing to bowl straight.

Johnson, like Steve Harmison, is a prime example of a bowler whose performance range is too large. He sometimes hits the heights, but he sometimes hits square leg.

We told you that the tattooed arm should be ‘the doing arm’.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Why does him being dropped from the side mean that the occasional feature “Johnson Watch” have to go? Before the series he was their best and only hope, so watching him sitting on the sidelines is bound to bring a cheery smile to even the hardest heart. In fact, if he was bowling well I wouldn’t be able to watch him at all. I think we should have a redoubling of the watching effort, even if it is just a series of posts titled “Johnson Remains Rubbish”, “Johnson’s Head Still Unstraight”, “Mitch Still Needs to Focus on Controlising the Executables, says Matthew”

    (For the purposes of this comment, I have assumed that everyone reading it is either English or Kiwi.)

  2. No wonder Johnson needs to get his head straight.Can you not see the angle between the head and neck and him having to hold it ??
    Couple of small barbecue skewers under his chin should sort the problem.
    Simples !

  3. Or he could take the Siddle approach and have some scaffolding put in, braced against his collar.

  4. Finally the axe falls where it is needed. Still feel sorry for Phil Hughes who was dropped last ashes as an act of collective punishment for Johnsons appalling bowling.

  5. So is this the TTNT?

    I always laugh when I see Strauss at the toss with his cap and blazer.

    He looks like an 8 year old public school boy. Which he was when he was 8, but he’s 33 now.

Comments are closed.