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What is a bits and pieces cricketer?

Bowled on 2nd March, 2012 at 11:44 by
Category: King Cricket

It’s the theme of the week. We thought we’d write about it for Cricinfo as well.

Chris Harris gets a mention, but we’re not sure we quite got across how much we like him, which is a shame. We really admired Harris’s approach to the game and we’re forever glad there was room for him in international cricket.

We’ve had a post saved as a draft for ages entitled ‘the slowest bowler of all time’. We’ve no idea what we were thinking when we wrote that, because the only thing we’ve written is just a fragment. We often make notes in this way, intending to flesh them out later on. That particular post reads: “Chris Harris bullet time moon ball” and nothing else.

Anyway, bits and pieces cricketers at Cricinfo. By us.

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  1. Reply
    sam   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 11:54

    Chris Harris gets extra points for receding hair.

  2. Reply
    King Cricket   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 12:17

    Slapping back!

    Chris Harris gets extra points for slapping back.

  3. Reply
    thesmudge   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 12:20

    Well, now I can claim to have stimulated one of Alex Bowden’s Heavy balls, even if the result was a rather public, if anonymous, upbraiding.

    • King Cricket   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 12:35

      Feel that choice of words warrants some sort of response but don’t have anything to say.

  4. Reply
    jimmy   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 13:13

    Would it be possible to get a comprehensive top 10 best-ever (worst-ever?) bits-and-pieces players? Or is this too much for a Friday? Or any day, for that matter.

  5. Reply
    Deep Cower   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 13:33

    The article gets a B- at best. An entire piece about a fat cricketer without the mention of man-boobs. What’s the world coming to?

    • Suave   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 13:47

      He does mention pinning a label to his moobs.. Moobs are man – boobs

    • Deep Cower   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 13:51

      Ah, so a fail on my part, then.

  6. Reply
    Bert   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 15:27

    Aw, thanks KC. I knew you cared.

  7. Reply
    daneel   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 15:33

    Is it worth pointing out that Chris Harris’ first class record (both as a batsman and a bowler) is better than Samit Patel’s?

    Also, I’d posit that batting in the top 4 for your county doesn’t mean diddly-squat. Craig White and Ronnie Irani both did that. Craig White even opened (and Ronnie Irani also has a superior FC record to Patel in both disciplines).

    • sam   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 15:44

      Neil Smith opened for England.

      That phrase can be used to end any argument.

    • daneel   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 16:56

      Not in proper cricket, he didn’t.

      I’d rather open with MJK Smith. Even now.

  8. Reply
    Howe_zat   //   March 2nd, 2012 at 17:03

    Everything that can be used to praise and/or patronise Chris Harris applies equally to new Zealand cricket in general. It’s amazingly useful for pissing off the fans.

  9. Reply
    John   //   March 3rd, 2012 at 11:42

    Dermot Reeve! I was going to ask if he’d done anything since he had to depart C4 a few years back, but it seems he got in a bit of trouble in Oz for selling Bradman autographs that may not have been authentic.

    • King Cricket   //   March 3rd, 2012 at 12:06

      He also accused Ravi Bopara of ball-tampering while coaching in New Zealand a couple of years ago.

    • The Smudge   //   March 3rd, 2012 at 15:24

      He does have a Miandad-like ability to piss people off

  10. Reply
    C   //   March 4th, 2012 at 10:32

    I’ve just read the teamsheet on Sky Sport News for England’s tour to Sri Lanka, and why is Swann not classed as an all rounder? He only averages 5 less than Broad and averages 2 more than Mitchell Johnson, who are both classed as all rounders.

    • King Cricket   //   March 4th, 2012 at 16:06

      Don’t know if there’s really much rhyme nor reason to it, but it does occur to us that both Broad and Johnson have Test hundreds to their name.

    • Deep Cower   //   March 4th, 2012 at 17:56

      Ajit Agarkar.

  11. Reply
    Micko   //   March 4th, 2012 at 23:29

    Felt you could have squeezed a Luke Wright reference in there somewhere.

    • King Cricket   //   March 5th, 2012 at 09:06

      We actually had him in mind, but it turned out including him would have involved a bit of shoe-hornery.

  12. Reply
    thesmudge   //   March 5th, 2012 at 08:03

    Writing about actual cricket in a whimsical manner is,it seems, far less fertile ground for the cricinfo opinion crop than your satirical skits.

    “Don’t give up your day job Alex” was about as entertaining as they got this time around.

    I hope you will return to baiting the gullible in future.

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