2013 County Championship – chapter 11

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This really got away from us. Not particularly looking forward to writing this update, it must be said.

1st – Durham

Okay, Durham weren’t even in the top three the last time we did this in, er, July. Let’s try and work out how they’ve done this.

  • Battered Derbyshire
  • Soundly beaten by Middlesex
  • Fully battered Surrey
  • Battered Yorkshire
  • Battered Sussex

Against Derbyshire, Keaton Jennings made 93 and 123, but has barely made a run since. He’s a South African who’s doing a four-year residential course in which he’ll learn to be English. Scott Borthwick, batting at three, made a hundred in that game too and followed it up with another against Surrey. Chris Rushworth was the other big performer in that match, taking 10 wickets.

Graham Onions took nine wickets in the Middlesex defeat and then seven the next time he played, against Sussex. Taking County Championship wickets would appear to be some vital biological process for Graham Onions. He simply can’t not do it.

The Surrey match was a bizarre affair. After Chris Tremlett took 8-96 and secured all the headlines, Durham rolled Surrey twice as if they were pastry and the opposition were sausage meat, sharing the wickets between a veritable who’s who of whos: Jamie “Who?” Harrison, Mark “Who?” Wood and Usman “Who?” Arshad. Injuries and international call-ups matter not, it would seem.

The Yorkshire win was built on a monstrous first innings which featured hundreds from Mark Stoneman, Ben Stokes and Michael “Who?” Richardson. The Sussex win was mostly Graham Onions.

2nd – Yorkshire

Yorkshire were top back in July, so at least the whole league hasn’t turned upside down while we were looking the other way. Here are their results.

  • Utterly minced Derbyshire
  • Drew with Warwickshire
  • Whipped Nottinghamshire
  • Whupped by Durham

Alphabet-straddling AZ Lees hit 275 against Derbshire. The forgotten Aus, Phil Jaques, hit 139. Wickets were handed out evenly.

Gary Ballance hit a hundred against Warwickshire.

Steven Patterson took five wickets against Nottinghamshire. He’s a 29-year-old fast-medium bowler who comes on first change and averages about 28. Add that to the name and he’s a contender for most generic cricketer in England.

Phil Jaques hit another hundred in the Durham defeat.

3rd – Middlesex

Like Durham, Middlesex weren’t in the top three in our last update. They seem to have gained ground through playing loads of matches and indeed, the two counties above them have a game in hand.

  • Soundly beaten by Warwickshire
  • Totally did Sussex
  • Beat Durham
  • Lost to Derbyshire
  • Hammered by Somerset
  • Beat Surrey

This might be too much to catch up with. Let’s see what happens.

Sam Robson hit a hundred against Sussex and that’s it, we’re out. We surrender. Too many scorecards.

The next chapter

Three more matches for the top two. Details are available on the internet, but not on this bit, because this bit can’t be bothered with details any more and would only get them wrong anyway.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Magnificent piece, KC, jam packed with comprehensive analysis.

    Could not be bettered in my view, especially the forward view at the end, which was pitch-perfect.

    Well done.

  2. I was bored so I looked at some of the Middlesex scorecards. Ollie Rayner took a boatload of wickets against Surry (15, to be exact), and he’s now averaging like 21.70 or something.

  3. I’m bored of this.

    Cricketers as films.

    Broad of the Rings
    Apocalypse Nel
    EterNel SunShane of the Spofforth Mind
    Dancer in the Clarke
    Pup Fiction
    I Give It A Beer
    Van Troost Yardy Liaison
    Jurassic Clarke
    Dr Martin Love (Or How I Learnt To Stop Worrying and Love the Swann)
    Reon King’s Speech
    TitaNick Knight
    The Silence of Allan Lamb
    Out of Atherton
    Ben Hur-lioake

    1. No Cowdrey for Old Men
      Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Mullally
      The Dark Knight Rises
      Citizen Shane
      Warne of the Worlds

  4. proof (if any were needed) of how statistics can mislead, apparently:

    cricinfo (c/o dan brettig) assures me that fawad ahmed “found favourable conditions” and “produced an encouraging display”. now, i didn’t see the match (or even the highlights; couldn’t really give a shit about ODIs unless someone like gayle is involved), but a perusal of yesterday’s scorecard tells me that ahmed got tonked for one run shy of eight an over, and took only one wicket, right at the end, and of a batsman who had already scored at better than a run a ball. this is encouraging, is it? bearing in mind that ahmed’s side had been coasting to victory for some time, and that he was therefore under little or no pressure – to get pasted around the park is what passes for an encouraging display these days?

    any opinions on that, from someone who actually watched (at least some of) the cricket? did fawad’s figures fail to do him justice, or are the aussies trying forlornly to foster some faith in their spinners?

    [on another note… nice to see that journalistic standards are continuing to slip… to the extent that an internationally reputed website allows its sub-editors to make basic grammatical errors without anyone even noticing: http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/669603.html … gripe, moan]

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