A baffling Matthew Hayden quote

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Matthew Hayden: robot-fearing mealy-mouthed gitOkay, it’s not as good as the quote that could be construed as a bit gay if you tried really hard and it’s not as succinctly meaningless as this quote, but it’s still a load of nonsense from the mouth of Matthew Hayden and for that reason it gets its own post.

“I want to see Ricky Ponting going like that when he wins and plays for Australia. That’s the heat of the battle, that’s Test cricket, that’s the enormous passion and enthusiasm that gets played from all games of cricket, you see it even in backyard cricket.”

That quote’s taken verbatim from The Age, by the way. We haven’t doctored it.

Prior to that, Hayden had said:

“When I finish cricket I don’t want to have to be in a game where everything is robots and robotic.”

Don’t enter Robot Wars then, idiot. It’s entirely avoidable. Do something else with your retirement – like just going away, for example.


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  1. This is a shame; as a robotics researcher one of my last remaining sources of motivation was the thought that one day, my creations might be given the chance to duel with Matthew Hayden, whereupon they would laser him in the knees before going “beep” and dispatching him with three hours of relentless logical discourse (and a circular saw).

    Now Matthew Hayden has taken even this from me.


  2. He only says that he doesn’t want to be in ‘a game’ with robots.

    He doesn’t mention anything about being in a spectacularly cruel war against them.

  3. If India go on to win the current match, my only possible disappointment will be that Matthew Hayden wasn’t playing.

  4. The man’s a retard.

    “When I finish cricket I don’t want to have to be in a game where everything is robots and robotic.”

    When you finish, you FatHeadFlatTrackBully, you won’t be in a game, because YOU WOULD HAVE FINISHED!!


  5. Hayden’s also pretty special when it comes to numbers. Early in his career, he shouldered arms to a ball from a West Indian bowler (Ian Bishop I think), and the ball crashed into off stump. In the papers the next day he said that it was a rare thing. “If I faced 800 balls like that, I’d probably play at 500 of them,” he said. Fortunately for Queensland and Australia, he doesn’t really leave every other good length ball on off stump….

    He also once said that he was a billion percent behind Ricky Ponting as captain. Imagine 10 million Matthew Haydens.

  6. I HATE it when people give a percentage higher than 100% (except in the very few instances where such usage is correct). I think I hate it more than anything.

  7. Can i say that from the main posting to the messages, i have found this brilliant! Thanks to all. It has livened up a cold, wet evening trying to sell mortgages.

  8. He doesn’t want to *have* to be in a game with robots. That suggests he might be willing to be in a game with robots if it was of his own free will, rather than being forced (by those big scary robots he’s paranoid about ) to be in such a game.

    I’m steering clear of Robot Wars just in case.

  9. That’s one of my pet hates, too, Miriam. I don’t hate it as much as when people say things like “80% certain”, though.

    Sometimes Matthew Hayden makes me have serious doubts about evolution. I hope his hamstring turns gangrenous and falls off.

  10. Miriam, yes it has always had a caption. They were few and far between back then though.

  11. Cut him a break. He means when he is finishing up cricket, not AFTER. And he has the right to say what he feels, what he thinks and what he wants to do. If any of you become great cricketers and the time comes to retire, YOU do things the way you want to. Then we’ll see how many people think you’re a dumbass dickhead. Peace.

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