Abdul Razzaq retires

Wizened, 27-year-old, schizophrenic batsman cum solid, dependable bowler, Abdul Razzaq, has retired from international cricket.

There are two ways of looking at this. The first way is to say that he’s had a big barny with the Pakistani cricket board.

This might have started because he was talking to the upstart Indian 20 over league causing him to be dropped from Pakistan’s Twenty20 World Cup squad, or maybe Razzaq’s been talking to the breakaway Indian Cricket League as a result of being dropped from Pakistan’s Twenty20 World Cup squad.

Either way, it’s just one of those intermittent tiffs that Pakistan players have with their board and he’ll be welcomed back with open arms before the week’s out.

The second way of looking at it is to say that the same thing’s happened as above, only Abdul Razzaq is never in a million years 27, he’s far, far older and has therefore genuinely retired. If we’re older than Abdul Razzaq, then Geoff Boycott’s a sit-on-the-fence, indecisive southerner who can take a joke.

On the subject of Boycott, if Razzaq truly has retired it’s only right that we laud him in some way and for us, the defining characteristic of Abdul Razzaq’s cricket is his unique ability to bat like Geoff Boycott’s even-more-boring twin in Test cricket, yet miraculously transform into an over-caffeinated Shahid Afridi in one-day cricket.

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7 Appeals

  1. the scientician

    August 21, 2007 at 10:20 am

    I’m 27, can I retire please?

  2. King Cricket

    August 21, 2007 at 10:22 am

    Depends. What do you average?

  3. the scientician

    August 21, 2007 at 11:36 am

    About 40 (hours a week).

  4. King Cricket

    August 21, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    Well you can retire from that form of the game if you get a good offer from a breakaway league for the shorter format.

  5. the scientician

    August 21, 2007 at 4:55 pm

    Will they pay me more?
    (They could scarcely pay me less)

  6. You know who should be put down?

    people who say, I’ll never retitre I’d be bored!

    brain dead morans who can’t occupy themselves. How could you be bored with free time? wouldn’t you jsut fill it with things that aren’t work?.

  7. mistake up there–he joined the ICL about 3 weeks after retiring. The retirement was because the selectors were dropping him despite averaging 38 in ODIs with the bat last year and being the 2nd-highest wicket-taker. The PCB is bizarre

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