An Ashes win equals big money

You’re an England player. You’ve won the Ashes. You get in touch with your agent:

“Commercial opportunities. What have you got for me?”

Your agent’s silent a minute and you can hear him shuffling some papers on his desk.

“Hello. Are you there? Commercial opportunities. What have you got?”

Your agent clears his throat and says: “Er… belts?”

One of these two cricketers was MADE to model things that hold up your trousers - imagine if they let him loose with braces

Matt Prior clearly did some DAMN GOOD WORK on this photo shoot, but Stuart Broad seems to be a rank amateur, so they made him say some stuff as well:

“I absolutely love the Druh Belts range and the colours are just amazing. They’re perfect to wear on a casual night out with jeans or with chinos and a jacket for a more formal look that is just a bit different.”

Everyone loves chino-friendly belts.

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25 Appeals

  1. I’ve just bought 10

  2. 10 Stuart Broads? What you going to with them?

  3. This re-make of Twins is going to be terrible.

  4. What you going to with them? A Stuart Broad fancy dress party?

  5. This re-make of only fools and horses is going to be terrible.

  6. King Cricket

    September 11, 2009 at 10:36 am

    Erasure are looking rough these days.

  7. Hmmmm, what to do with 10 Stuart Broads? I can’t decide between putting 5 of them in our ODI top 6 batting line-up or just strategically placing all 10 around Old Trafford, each holding a corner of a large tarpaulin to shelter the pitch from rain.

  8. Get your ‘ands out of your pockets you ‘orrible little man!!

  9. Yes, Stuart, put your hands on your chin, in a thinking-woman’s cricketer pose.

  10. I like to think of myself as a thinking-woman, however, under no circumstances does this make Matt Prior my type of cricketer.

    No Circumstances.

  11. It his pose, not himself as an individual. He’s posing as a thinking-woman’s cricketer.

    I could pose as a super-model, or Admiral Adama, it doesn’t make me either.

    He’s clearly not pulling off the pose. Maybe he should go for Broad’s more truncheon-juggling look.

  12. If you were Admiral Adama you wouldn’t need to do a special pose. Just the fact that you’re in charge of a giant spaceship would be enough to impress the girls – thinking or otherwise.

    Matt Prior should go for a pose that involves a bag over his head. That would work for him.

  13. Why do the belts have a picture of fallopian tubes on them?

  14. For D Charlton and Lemon Bella:

    Apologies as seem to have given the Broad clones v bad dandruff.

  15. You won’t be getting preggers in a hurry, miriam.

  16. Batting in Ned Kelly's Helmet

    September 12, 2009 at 5:25 am

    Lemon Bella you have just given me enormous hope. I always assumed Battlestar Galactica and being attractive to women was mutually exclusive!

  17. I really hate Matt Prior, and I thought that before I saw this picture.

  18. Stuart Broad is wearing my primary school’s uniform. Except for that belt, which would be unnacceptable and result in a trip to the principal’s office.

  19. Thank you Ceci. I am terrified by the No.14 Cylon who are clearly a Stuart-Broad-modelling-belt model.

    And i always hoped it’d be my girlfriend. It would have explained more.

  20. Ok, a picture of upside-down fallopian tubes.

  21. Oh, I’d quite forgotten how brilliant this was.

    “I just love the colours”? Colours shown; black, white. Whoa there.

  22. Right Said Fred have let themselves go.

    I thought about going with Eurythmics, or the Pet Shop Boys. I still feel there’s a better alternative out there. But I’m not going to get upset about it.

  23. “Hey KP what’s holding up YOUR trousers these days”

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