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Author: King Cricket

Otherwise known as Alex Bowden, a lapsed cricket journalist who has written for ESPNCricinfo, wisden.com, Cricket 365, The Cricketer and plenty of other places. Links to some non-cricket writing and a bit more background here.
September 15, 2011 County cricket

Ghosts vanquished, aliens driven out, earth back on axis

< 1 minute readIt’s all going to be okay. Lancashire have won the County Championship. Moments after it was confirmed, we got into our car, turned on the radio and were greeted with the perfect party music: Paranoia Man In Cheap Shit Room by The Fall – perfect if, like us, your idea

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September 15, 2011 County cricket

Just a few more hours and then maybe we’ll all be safe

< 1 minute readWe’ve lived near Manchester Airport for most of our life and we have never seen a light in the sky quite like the one we saw last night. It was off-white, indistinct and almost certainly an alien spacecraft. Aliens have, quite understandably, come to earth to see whether Warwickshire can

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September 14, 2011 County cricket

We all have to wait for the County Championship to be decided

2 minute readWe ate some sauerkraut last night and there was something not quite right about it. We’ve not had the jar all that long and sauerkraut keeps, so it’s a bit weird. Most of you will have reached the obvious conclusion upon hearing this news. Clearly someone, somewhere, is so impatient

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September 12, 2011 County cricket

Today’s County Championship horror

< 1 minute readWe were driving home tonight and one side of the road was closed, quite possibly as a result of the earth being thrown off its axis a bit last week. There were so many people rushing home to catch the last three overs of the day that not all of

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September 11, 2011 County cricket

Not long now for the County Championship

< 1 minute readThe County Championship will end this week, just so long as the world hasn’t ended before then. The excitement is ripping our reality apart at the seams. When we got up this morning, we weren’t at all surprised to find that our jumper had fallen off the back of a

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September 9, 2011 County cricket

Okay, we don’t want you to be alarmed but…

< 1 minute readWe made ourself a cup of tea this morning, we started drinking it and then we went upstairs for a bit. When we came back down, the mug was empty. No-one else was in the house. We know what you’re going to say. You’re going to say that we were

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September 8, 2011 County cricket

County Championship latest – raised voices outside

< 1 minute readWe’re committed to documenting the effects of the climax of the County Championship, but we’re really starting to fear for our life now. Last night, we heard screaming outside our house. It was these two girls and they were having a MAJOR disagreement. They were so shrieky, we could only

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September 7, 2011 County cricket

The County Championship – now it’s a crisis

< 1 minute readOkay, we don’t want you to worry, but things are really getting out of hand now. The nation is going FULLY MENTAL as we approach the climax of the County Championship. You’d better brace yourself, because the story that follows is pretty damn alarming. Okay, so we were buying a

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September 6, 2011 England / India

Were you doing something else when England played India at the Rose Bowl?

< 1 minute readMaybe you were pipe-cleaner modelling or carrying out wig maintenance. Here’s what you missed: Vinay Kumar seemingly wearing clogs MS Dhoni keeping without a hat on Alastair Cook slogging a single to cow corner off the back foot about 40 times

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September 6, 2011 County cricket

County Championship fever – more evidence

< 1 minute readWe took a walk alongside the canal last night. At one point, a barge went past and the guy at the tiller was clearly SUPER EXCITED about the climax of the County Championship. He just had that air about him. With the next round of matches starting tomorrow, he was

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Latest features

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Read one of these next…

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What we mostly seem to write about

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Latest comments

  1. King Cricket on The 50 Most Ridiculous Ashes Moments is definitely out now – you should buy it for someone! (Possibly yourself)November 8, 2025

    It continues to be out. As for when it was first out? That's another matter.

  2. King Cricket on The 50 Most Ridiculous Ashes Moments is definitely out now – you should buy it for someone! (Possibly yourself)November 8, 2025

    Wouldn't say that was the full equation, but it does feel like Ted's in there with a few others.

  3. Mike C on The 50 Most Ridiculous Ashes Moments is definitely out now – you should buy it for someone! (Possibly yourself)November 8, 2025

    Laurence Elderbrook = Ted Dexter!

  4. Chuck on The 50 Most Ridiculous Ashes Moments is definitely out now – you should buy it for someone! (Possibly yourself)November 7, 2025

    So, is it out today, or what? I wasn't sure, reading the article.

  5. King Cricket on The 50 Most Ridiculous Ashes Moments is definitely out now – you should buy it for someone! (Possibly yourself)November 7, 2025

    We'd say get stuck into Typhoon and forget about your copy of The Ridiculous Ashes. Ideally forget about it so…

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A cat continuing to maintain almost ostentatiously conspicuous indifference to cricket
  • Conspicuous indifference to Dan Lawrence’s gyrations from a human being
  • Is Winter (the cat) truly indifferent to cricket?

RSS Match reports

  • Match Report: Ireland vs England, 2nd T20, Malahide
  • Keep your enemies closer | a 2019 Edgbaston Ashes Test match report
  • Match report: Sixes, Fulham

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • DEVICE NEWS! (A match report being conspicuously indifferent to cricket in an unusual place)
  • A cricket bat in a Pigbag video
  • A Spartan cricket bat in a UK politics documentary

About King Cricket

  • Home
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  • Get our articles by email
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Support King Cricket

  • Our Patreon crowdfunder

Recent Posts

  • The 50 Most Ridiculous Ashes Moments is definitely out now – you should buy it for someone! (Possibly yourself)
  • “Cocky Captain Complainer” and inadvisable fart-retention – Ashes Nonsense Watch | Part 1
  • The “scary” future of women’s cricket? Maybe just a different flavour of healthy rejuvenating apocalypse
  • World Cup Semi-Final: England v South Africa top order partnership rankings
  • 51. Michael Vaughan Declines A Crushing

Tags

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