Bangladesh v England – no protagonist, no narrative, no cephalopods

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Good films come in two forms:

  1. The writers are smarter than you and have constructed an ingenious plot where the story slowly unfolds, keeping you rapt
  2. The writers are far stupider than you and haven’t a clue about plot structure, so just to keep things moving, every now and again they introduce an octopus with wings or a robot with no face that always feels disappointed

In both those cases, you have no idea what’s going to happen next, so you pay attention. In between those two extremes are films where you can predict everything that’s going to happen after about the first two minutes. Most films are like this and you basically just watch them unfold, exactly as you expect them to.

The Bangladesh v England Test series threatened drama, but delivered virtually none. England won 2-0 and had to work quite hard. This wasn’t an enormous surprise.

More faceless robots crippled by perpetual disappointment!


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. I am determined to have enjoyed this because of the inclusion of James Tredwell – thus it was GRIPPING as we watched JAMES TREDWELL overcome being not as good as Swann to be a MASSIVE SUCCESS.

  2. What about that bit in the seventeenth over where that carnivorous donkey cartwheeled on and ate one of the umpires? Or did you miss that bit?

  3. I got really excited when Finn took that wicket just on the stroke of lunch on Day 5.

    I don’t usually get that excited at 5:30 in the morning, I’ll have you know.

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