There is a very good chance this article about England’s day five capitulation is not biologically sound. We’re pretty sure it’s cricketally accurate however.
The second Test was won and lost at some point during a morning of pointlessly bouncing Jasprit Bumrah. It’s a hard moment to pin down precisely, but doing so is way less important than the fact that we all just intrinsically understand that it’s true.
Bumrah bounced James Anderson, you see – including with a series of no-balls. England didn’t like that, so they apparently resolved to return the favour, whether it made sense or not.
And for the avoidance of doubt – it did not. Jasprit Bumrah’s Test batting average was 3.55 before today. It has now soared to 5.
The short-pitched assault was like some weird macho obligation. It wasn’t enough to merely get Bumrah out; England needed to BLAST HIM OUT.
Maybe it was the after-effects of Cheteshwar Pujara’s double ball hundred, but they weren’t even very good bouncers for the most part.
And when England completely failed to blast Bumrah out, where were they then? What did that failure say? When you hang everything off power and fury and then power and fury doesn’t get you anywhere, that tells everyone you lack power. That’s emasculating, isn’t it?
England responded by getting even more furious, but these kinds of emotions come at a cost. Mental and physical energy inevitably dissipated and they eventually rolled to the gentlest of halts thanks to India’s declaration.
At this point, India had worked themselves to a crescendo. They came out to bowl awash with adrenaline. England meanwhile had already made their highest energy efforts, so they were subject to a very different hormone.
“Sorry,” said their bodies. “That’s your lot. Time for sleep now.”