2 minute readSkinned them alive? Probably not. Skinned them undead maybe, for England increasingly seem like zombies. Asked to explain England’s latest defeat, all Eoin Morgan could muster was “braaaains” in a long, drawn-out moan. “Skiiiill” and “caaaaalmness” were also lacking. In contrast to England’s rotting flesh, New Zealand have a surfeit
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Which cricketers possess X-factor? A comprehensive guide
< 1 minute readHow do you measure X-factor? Does it come in units or is it a subtance. Does Glenn Maxwell give you one X-factor or does he provide you with a few centilitres of X-factor that you can pool along with whatever can be provided by Mitchell Johnson, David Warner and Xavier
Continue readingKane Williamson wins the combativity prize
2 minute readIt’s a double-post day today. Maybe we’re all backed-up after slacking off over Christmas. A few words about New Zealand first and then this afternoon we’ll turn to Australia v India, so hold your commenting horses if that’s what you want to talk about. In cycling, there’s a thing called
Continue readingBrendon McCullum and Angelo Mathews: Conjoined Lord Megachiefs of Gold 2014
4 minute readWe’re never sure why people are so averse to comparing apples and oranges. They’re both fruit, after all. It’s not like comparing ox heart and communism. Like apples and oranges, Brendon McCullum and Angelo Mathews are quite different, but also have rather a lot in common. Why a dual award?
Continue readingThe Kiwi is a fast learner
< 1 minute readIt has to be. Unable to fly and never allowed to play more than three Tests in a series, it has to adapt quickly if it isn’t to be devoured by cats or beaten by Pakistan. Captains and coaches always talk about learning from a defeat, but you rarely see
Continue readingMop-up of the day – bones, Bangladesh batsmen and battery
< 1 minute readIs MS Dhoni’s arm made out of just one super fast-growing bone? We’re imagining an ever-extending protuberance that requires regular pruning based on the following from Cricinfo: “On the eve of the meeting, a BCCI insider revealed that Dhoni was recovering from a “right forearm” injury. By the time the
Continue readingNew Zealand witness a perfect stellar eclipse
< 1 minute readPoor New Zealand. In recent times, they have slowly been putting together a solid side. Since losing to England last year, they have drawn one Test series and won three. They have one of the more promising seam attacks around and have even found a few batsmen. Now they find
Continue readingCounty Championship second division in 2014 – all you need to know
< 1 minute readJesse Ryder took 44 wickets at 18.09 for Essex. To put that in context, Ryder has taken 99 first-class wickets in his entire career. This season, he took four five-fors and had one ten-wicket match. These were added to the no five-fors he’d previously taken to give him a career
Continue readingThe New Zealand team is a sperm whale
< 1 minute readSperm whales have pretty small brains. If you saw one, it would look massive, but they’re small brains in relative terms because sperm whales are massively massive. In Moby Dick, Herman Melville makes the case that the small brain is compensated for by the whale’s giant vertebrae, the first few
Continue readingRangana Herath is some kind of homicidal capybara
< 1 minute readAs assassins go, Sri Lanka’s Rangana Herath is sort of chubby and non-threatening looking. However, after taking five wickets for three runs in 3.3 overs, New Zealand were left feeling like they’d been gummed to death by a capybara. If that weren’t enough, there were two run-outs while he was
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