Darling, I think I’m going to need… more ties!

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< 1 minute read

That’s the emotional climax of the Just For Men advert that we’ve seen about 18 times today while watching the IPL. We’ve gone through hatred and emerged the other side, joining in with the ‘more ties!’ bit, punching the air for emphasis.

It’s astonishing the level of advertising you’re exposed to while watching the IPL. Apart from the ad breaks, there’s sponsorship all over the stadium and the players’ clothing. Every TV graphic has a sponsor’s name attached to it and then there’s the commentary.

Aside from having to talk about Citi Moments of Success every two minutes, everything else that the commentators say is an advert for the IPL itself.

This can’t be good for viewers and the worst part is that we’ve just realised how much it’s affected us. We bought some Indian train tickets yesterday for when we’re over there next month and we were offered a range of payment ‘gateways’.

At the time, we didn’t know why, but we went for Citi Bank.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. They need a ‘moment of failure’ sponsor. The Dhoni runout wasn’t a Citi moment of success, more a King Cricket moment of failure.

  2. There was a Dujon Moment of Puzzlement today – as Harbhajan gave a departing batsman a good pointing with the upraised middle finger, Jeff worried “He’s got one finger in the air there but that’s his third wicket”

  3. “pointing with the upraised middle finger”
    Seriously? Damn, I knew I should have watched that game.

  4. In my office, ‘more ties’ has become a standard joke for, well, nearly everything. We don’t do much work…

    The effect it has had on us is to go to the Thai restaurant more frequently. So we are actually having ‘more Thais’.

    Is there a DLF maximum of thais/ties you can have? Or can you always have more?

  5. What part of India are you going to KC?

    I think Indian Railway offers payment gateways because if you don’t have a credit card, IR can charge your bank account directly and for that you need to select the correct payment gateway associated with your bank.

  6. Bangalore, Chowkster.

    The railway payments system was probably the most complex we’ve ever encountered. One of the most rubbish, as well.

  7. All Indian government websites suck and Indian Railways is no exception. We are still living in 1996 as far as the government is concerned. Bangalore is a nice city if you can handle the traffic and the pollution. Hope you have fun, KC!.

  8. to make matters worse, we are now shown the MRF blimp every 3-4 minutes, and each time, the commentator informs us that MRF runs a pace foundation with Deniss Lillee as Director…
    there was even talk on air about a shot of the moon…is that the DLF or MRF moon there, Danny?

  9. @KC : Citi’s very own Citi moment of success…so you mean advertising on IPL really works??

  10. He’s not back, D Charlton. You mock the IPL at your own risk, you know. The real King Cricket website was kidnapped and is now being held in a virtual underground vault, strapped to a virtual chair, with Lalit Modi pacing around making sinisterly bland comments, all the while waving sponsored torture instruments at it (“Perhaps you’ll find it easier to be nice about the IPL after a little session with the Hero Honda Thumbscrews of Success, hmm?”).

    They won’t fool you for long, though. You’ll spot the minutely subtle differences, such as the website occasionally being accurate.

  11. Sam, we’ll use it at some point while we’re away in the next few weeks.

    Most match reports languish in our inbox for months, you know.

  12. ok. just checking. i would hate for the king cricket community to miss out on my genius.

  13. This is why I have to go and write a book.

    No-one will employ me with grey hair, and I will never use this shite, as it makes me want to kill them all, everytime I see it.

  14. In the great tradition of male hair tint product advertising, the “more ties” advert is clearly an American ad dubbed with English voices, which is why the voices sound so totally implausible.

    The dubbing is much better now than it was in the 70s, 80s and 90s, but still it is manifestly dubbed. I just thought you all ought to know.

  15. And it’s his daugher, isn’t it, not his wife? Where’s his wife, that’s what puzzles me. Did he lose his last job because he ran off with his secretary or something?

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