Graham Gooch and some terrible puns

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It’s our latest piece for Cricinfo. Here’s what the critics are saying about it:

“Ultimate 🙂 ROFL… Next in line is Misbah?” – The Sunday Times

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we appear to have one million things to write today and very few hours in which to do it.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. That last passage, about the duck: Goochie was obviously very forthcoming with his opinions on it, but I can just see him backing away from the question at the same time, hugging himself.

    You could say that he was both forward and defensive.

    1. I have a friend who was born and brought up in leafy Hampshire. A few years ago she moved to South London and started using the word “sick” as a positive adjective.

      It were absolutely diabolical.

    2. Perhaps at some point in The Future, the youth will adopt broad Yorkshire as the language of the urban streets.

    3. I’d rather have Nadsat, if I’m honest, although have nothing against saying it in a Yorkshire accent. “Ooh, ‘e took tha’ one ‘orrorshow in t’ litso.”

    1. True …
      In my defence I took someone else’s antidepressant pill instead of a vitamin pill this afternoon. Been woozy ever since ..

  2. How good was Gooch in the 87 World Cup? Just been watching highlights on iTunes and had forgotten. Had also forgotten Paul Downton, Bill Athey and Eddie Hemmings playing ( well) in a World Cup final . ..and Tim Robinson, but he got a golden.
    Sorry no puns there.

  3. OK. This one’s so far off topic that I’m surprised the internet is big enough. But I did think (some of) you would appreciate it. There’s been a discussion over at The Grauniad about the nature of mathematics. Pretty exciting stuff, I’m sure you’d agree. However, it is this comment from Violator that reminded me of you people. Enjoy. It.

    “Not according to Immanuel Kant. Maths is a priori but it is not composed of analytic truths.

    I love Kant. I’d shag that sexy German deontologist. I’m not lying either ’cause I couldn’t universalise that maxim.”

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