Embracing the perpendicular

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< 1 minute read

The Shire Horse will be holed up inside the stables for the winter months and so we’re doing a series called King Cricket’s Kings of Cricket in its place.

The first cricketer to be so honoured is Brian Lara. There’s also a bit of a preamble relating to the King Cricket name for the few of you who weren’t around when we started the website back in January 2006 (i.e. all of you).


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


    1. This is just a joke now, right? We don’t have to ask what the bloody hell you’re all on about any more do we?

      Because nobody answers and we’re none the wiser but plenty more paranoid.

      This is our actual human face you people are joking about and our actual brain emotions you’re toying with.

    2. On the plus side, knowing what you look like does make it easier to stalk you with a remote heli-drone.

    3. I think it’s because the photo looks like it’s of a well-adjusted, outgoing people person. There’s even a hint of a smile.

      Surely this is not the photo of someone who panics when the phone rings?

      PS I remember the early days – the ‘Blue and Brown’/King Cricket confusion, the Simon Jones injury updates, the constant Shahid Afridi mentions, the blogspot.co.uk web address….

    4. Excellent credentials, A P Webster. Even we don’t really remember the Simon Jones injury updates.

      And perhaps appearances can be deceptive.

    5. It took me ages to get used to the disappearance of “blogspot” from the address.

      And I remember when Top Trumpa worked and all.

  1. Just a query. If this is a cult website, does that mean we are a cult? And does it make you a cult leader?

    You see, I’ve read about cults in magazines and things, and almost without exception they seem to be little other than a vehicle for allowing the leader to have sex with as many cult members as possible, plus occasionally murdering the whole population of the world with sarin. That definitely seems to be the linking theme of cults. Sex, sex, more sex, murder the whole population of the world with sarin. Heaven’s Gate, Aum Shinrikyo, Branch Davidians, Methodists… you can see the pattern.

    I mention this because, well, frankly speaking, I haven’t noticed. Am I being excluded?

    1. We assure you that even if you were missing something, you wouldn’t be missing anything.

    2. I’m just guessing, but I suspect that, in this instance, All Out Cricket is using the word “cult” to mean “don’t worry about it if you haven’t heard of this thing, not many people have.”

      But a whole load of sex and mega death might liven the place up a little over the winter, especially once KC runs out of Ged Ladd 2014 match reports.

    3. The things is, Bert, is that cults tend to deepen their ties that bind by breaking down the personalities of lower ranking members. Appearance shaming, toying with actual brain emotions, etc. We’ve got it backwards, or KC is being quite democratic about it all.

    4. Anyway, just to let you know, I am ready to carry out the egomaniacal instructions of our sparkly shining leader. Just deliver the sarin. I assume we’re all going to escape on a spaceship to a passing asteroid, maybe that one parked at Lord’s cunningly disguised as the pavilion.

    1. There is one, only on the home page. Earlier, it used to be a little crown with KC on it. Starting this morning, its changed to the letter M in white on a green background. Quite ugly!

      Note: All data reported for Chrome.

    2. Weird. We don’t remember adding one and we don’t get one in any browser. Is the desktop Chrome or mobile Chrome?

  2. I remember him being a shadow of himself playing in England. But looking at his stats, he averages more in England than he does anywhere else beside the Windies, Zimbabwe and Sri Lanka. Looking again, I see that my memories of him on these shores are clouded by his relatively poor series in 2004. Shame that.

    Anyway, great player. Who’s next? Glenn Chapple or Steve Magoffin?

    1. I suspect this is the root of the Gooch / Swann handbags.

      You wouldn’t catch our Graham swanning around with such a poncey spelling.

    1. That was slightly longer than we were expecting for a survey that must surely be targeted at quite a niche demographic.

  3. Lara was ok, but I have always preferred people who swing a massive bat through the line of the ball a lot, e.g. Gooch, Clive Lloyd, Botham, Hayden etc. ESPECIALLY Gooch – what a legend. I had a poster of him on my wall. This cut, thrust, rapier thing, just doesn’t do it for me. Azharuddin was similar. Then there was that business of him going up to people in nightclubs in Trinidad and saying ‘Do you know who I am?’. Not good. Basically the guy was a phenomenon in a largely shit team. They occasionally (or was it just that one tour?) inched ahead of Australia only to be shat on again the next time they tried. A bit like us in the more recent era, as you wisely pointed out recently

    Right, another glass of wine

  4. i think both Ged and Sam don’t look they should in RL and Ged has a huge carbon footprint, does Daisy know?

  5. Did anyone get their AOC fantasy league prizes? I may have to launch a one man boycott until mine arrives, if it does.

    1. My Wisdens haven’t arrived yet either. I was to going to make further enquiries (polite, mind) this weekend, as that would make it a month since the last communication we received on the matter.

    2. I think AOC should be careful in case it has enraged the cult. Bad thing to enrage, cults.

      They’ve probably just got the same lackadaisical approach to postage that I have when it comes to birthday cards. And I like to think an Xmas card arriving some time in January just extends the festive season a little…

  6. After staring at KC’s avatar in Shire Horse for 30 minutes I noticed an image of a cat’s head in the bottom right of the wallpaper.

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