How bad is England’s one-day batting?

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Matt Prior run out of his misery

Four fifties between them in six one-day internationals. That’s bad.

Remember when you were at school and someone had egg sandwiches. ‘Ughh. Who’s got egg?’ someone would ask. Think of the faces everyone made when they realised someone had egg. There were probably even a few children crying, because having egg sandwiches is perhaps the biggest crime at school.

We saw faces just like those in the crowd last night. England’s one-day batting is as bad as having egg sandwiches at school.


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  1. In test matches every batsman knows that he has to build an innings. In 20/20, he just has to hit the leather off the ball until he is out. In 50-over cricket we seem to have a team full of batsmen who do the latter, despite it being clearly the case that the former is the right approach, as demonstrated by every other team in the world ever.

    To an English ODI batsman, building an innings seems to mean blocking the first ten balls faced (presumably to demonstrate restraint) then trying to score at sixteen an over.

    Sack them all, the useless bunch of pillocks.

  2. If they keep wanting to use Sidebottom as a powerplay batting specialist, why not just open with him?

  3. there used to be a girl at my work who whenever i opened a banana she’d say ‘ugh, who’s got a banana?’

    she left to go and work for the council.

    so in a way, i sort of…win?

  4. England’s ODI batting is so bad that even Mr Baddy McBad, (who is so bad at things that he describeseven the very worst things as really quite good) says: “England’s batting is really bad”.

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