Liquids, solids, bats, balls AND RELIGION

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Plenty going on in the various Boxing Day Tests, but we can’t be arsed writing a single word about any of them. We’re far too busy actually enjoying them, if we’re honest. Something would have to make way to give us time to write and these liquids and solids won’t consume themselves, so this is all you’re getting.

We did do something festive though – this piece about some dude born on Christmas Day whose actions appear to have indirectly led to all sorts of bitter conflict. Cookianity – it’ll never catch on.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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    1. Cheers Ravi. We were quite happy with it and feel slightly disappointed that it was destined for the somewhat dead Christmas Day slot.

  1. Superb use of the word spake, several times, in that column, KC. Well done.

    You might be pleased, amused or additionally frustrated to learn that Cricinfo seems to have even worse problems with its comments mechanism than WordPress.

    Indeed, ironically, to use the other meaning of the word spake, “I can’t spake. None of us can spake.”

    1. Well being as they don’t seem to approve your comments even when you try and leave them, the actual mechanics seem almost an irrelevance.

    2. My comments rarely seem to get published, even the ones with no negative words about a certain Mr Srinivasan.

    3. Try right-clicking on the “Add comments” link, Ged, and opening it in a new tab. That seems to work for me.

  2. There was this guy born on Christmas Day that caused a lot of fuss before he was 30. He was called Isaac Newton, he invented the googly

    1. Which line-up? They’ve had more than Rainbow and Whitesnake together and must be approaching Blood, Sweat & Tears for sheer number of band members.

    2. The Fall are also known for their changing line-ups. Most of them have been found in the same Prestwich pub and a large proportion couldn’t really play before they were in the band.

    3. Hadn’t thought of it before, but there are shades of “Geoffrey Boycott’s mum (or gran) with a stick of rhubarb” in that Mark E Smith quote.

  3. Not many have mentioned this, but there’s a lesson from this series for the English batsmen — the Indian lads have played Mitchell Johnson much, much better than England did during the Ashes. The guy went for 4.7 an over today — he was also wicketless at the Gabba in the first innings.
    The difference is that the Indians have mostly just ducked or swayed under the short stuff and looked to get on the front foot for the full balls against Mitch, and have only looked to pull/hook once they’re in. Whereas the English batsmen were just intimidated and trying to hook/pull/fend everything against him from the start.

  4. Hayden on commentary about KL Rahul’s dismissal .. “I’ve got two words for you … The first one stays with ‘brain’, the second one starts with ‘explosion’ … ”
    The gift that keeps on giving …

  5. superb stuff, o king… just what the doctor ordered.

    but yes, what about mitch getting flogged by the indian chaps eh? eh? heh. crumbs of comfort n all that … england take note, indeed… assuming the (erstwhile) chosen one is still in charge by the next time they cross swords…

    1. Crumbs of comfort in India, the worst cricketing tourists (according to the Internet), doing a decent job on Mitch where the English failed? Not really…

    2. no, the comfort came from just seeing the aussie boys chasing leather for a session or two. it was as shallow as that

    1. Yes. It’s always funny.

      I also fondly remember Mark Waugh running himself out (while running for someone else) to strand Steve on 99.

      And in fairness, it was also funny when Fat Gatt did for Athers.

  6. Quite a few have been run out for 99 at the ‘G, it would seem. Not least one MA Atherton, detailed in all its horror in this nostalgic article of 21 years prior when the extent of controversy in the game surrounding video replays appeared to be a player standing his ground for 30 seconds while a bat-pad catch was queried, and a certain Matthew Hayden made an appearance as sub fielder:

    1. Do excuse my ignorance, the wording of the article confused me – Athers was run out at Lord’s, I’m too young to remember such things (but not to remember Australia consistently walloping England)…

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