Mongoose in the IPL – most inevitable press release ever

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There aren’t many things you can rely upon in this world, but the Mongoose marketing department is one. Sometimes Mongoose press releases take unexpected forms, but their arrival is inevitable.

After Matthew Hayden used the Mongoose to hit many of the 93 runs he hit off 43 balls for Chennai Super Kings against Delhi Daredevils, we said to a colleague: “How long until the press release?”

Two hours.

It’s not a very good press release. The only real highlight is a hint at a potential pastime for Hayden when he gets a bit older:

“I look forward to bringing it out again to entertain once more.”

“The suspect showed no remorse for his crimes nor the effect they had on the Kingaroy women’s tennis team, therefore he has been sentenced to 100 hours community service.”


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. It really does need the chap who brings it out to go down on one knee, look at the ground and offer Haydo the handle through the crook of his elbow.
    “As you command, my liege”

  2. Was I the only one willing Hayden to get out first ball after bringing out the mongoose

  3. I was hoping someone would bowl a bouncer, he would get an under-edge from the bat handle onto his box and then onto the stumps. Pain, humiliation and failure because you are bringing a ****ing golf club to a cricket match.

  4. Brilliant. I hope Hawkeye could prove a proper cricket bat would have stopped that.

  5. Quoth the girlfriend, upon being forced to watch the Super Over on the pretence that it’s “even more exciting than usual”…

    “Why is his bat so small?”
    [Explains history of the Mongoose]
    “Why did they call it the Mongoose then? Seems like a shit name for it.”
    [Explains that the Mongoose is a ferocious and misunderstood animal, like a Pepperami]
    “I don’t get it though, surely if it goes over the rope it doesn’t matter how far it goes?”
    [Agrees in principle, but patiently explains that the more DLF Maximums the better]

    *Hayden bowled first ball*

    “Idiot. I told you he should have used a proper bat”.
    [Proposes to girlfriend].

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