Bring forth the Mongoose

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If we wanted to build a life-size replica of the Arndale Centre made out of press releases, we could do it at the minute. We’d have to print them all off first, obviously; and then we’d have to actually find a way of building the thing, but we’ve got the raw materials.

We’re having to ignore most of these press releases, but somehow the ones for the Mongoose cricket bat keep sneaking through.

Advice for people marketing products: Always, ALWAYS name your product after a small carnivore with a funny name.

This week’s press release highlight:

Lining up an onslaught as the innings reached its climax last night, Law was about to signal to the dressing room for the Mongoose when he was run out.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Small carnivore with a funny name doesn’t always work KC…

    For example,
    “Bring forth the HONEY BADGER!”
    just has a totally wrong vibe.
    Even Brian Blessed couldn’t make this one work.

  2. But “Bring forth the Badger” just works. I’m guessing that’s what KP said to his hairdresser a few years back.

    Alway topical, me.

  3. But if you cry out “Bring forth the Capybara”, it’s all sorts of magical.

    We get to see Lord Bobby of Key, astride the mystical beast.

    Everyone should do that at least once a day.

  4. Do you people have any idea that there are products in this world that aren’t cricket bats?

    You’ve got to align the name with the product. You can’t just use the name of any old small carnivore with a funny name for any old product.

    The honey badger might be a small piece of furniture specifically for storing pyjamas.

  5. Perhaps Law should have completed the run before signalling for the Mongoose. Schoolboy error, that.

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