Bring forth the Mongoose

If we wanted to build a life-size replica of the Arndale Centre made out of press releases, we could do it at the minute. We’d have to print them all off first, obviously; and then we’d have to actually find a way of building the thing, but we’ve got the raw materials.

We’re having to ignore most of these press releases, but somehow the ones for the Mongoose cricket bat keep sneaking through.

Advice for people marketing products: Always, ALWAYS name your product after a small carnivore with a funny name.

This week’s press release highlight:

Lining up an onslaught as the innings reached its climax last night, Law was about to signal to the dressing room for the Mongoose when he was run out.

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12 Appeals

  1. Small carnivore with a funny name doesn’t always work KC…

    For example,
    “Bring forth the HONEY BADGER!”
    just has a totally wrong vibe.
    Even Brian Blessed couldn’t make this one work.

  2. I held a Mongoose cricket bat today.

    I feel special.

  3. But “Bring forth the Badger” just works. I’m guessing that’s what KP said to his hairdresser a few years back.

    Alway topical, me.

  4. Presumably he got run out because his bat was too short.

  5. “Bring forth the Least Weasel!”

    Doesn’t work. Too small as well.

  6. But if you cry out “Bring forth the Capybara”, it’s all sorts of magical.

    We get to see Lord Bobby of Key, astride the mystical beast.

    Everyone should do that at least once a day.

  7. King Cricket

    June 25, 2009 at 9:00 am

    Do you people have any idea that there are products in this world that aren’t cricket bats?

    You’ve got to align the name with the product. You can’t just use the name of any old small carnivore with a funny name for any old product.

    The honey badger might be a small piece of furniture specifically for storing pyjamas.

  8. Honey Badger sounds like an adult film star

  9. > Honey Badger sounds like an adult film star

    Where’s Mel when you need her?

  10. Perhaps Law should have completed the run before signalling for the Mongoose. Schoolboy error, that.

  11. Honey Badger? I once had a Jammy Beaver if that’s any help, Mahinda.

  12. SarahCanterbury

    June 26, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    Hahahaha! Mel doesn’t disappoint, Mahinda!

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