Mumbai Indians v Royal Challengers Bangalore, IPL semi final match report

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Alex writes:

Having made my daily and pointless call to British Airways, I set about persuading myself that it was somehow acceptable to stay in a hotel far more expensive than any I’d ever spent a night in before.

Having accomplished this to some extent, I prepared for my evening of eating and watching the IPL semi final.

“Do you want to try the buffet?” asked the waiter.

My bowels had twice woken me in the night, so this seemed a bad idea. A greater number of different dishes increased the likelihood that I would eat something that disagreed with me. It’s a numbers thing.

“You get unlimited beer with it,” added the waiter and it suddenly occurred to me that more dishes meant less of each one. Surely that was a good thing?

While waiters and customers hovered watching the match, I ate too much – largely because staff would repeatedly bring me the dishes I had purposefully rejected in a vain attempt to “be sensible”.

After a slightly disconcerting conversation with a man from Kolkata about cheerleaders which repeatedly featured the phrase “white skin” I went to bed.

At 6am, I resolved to eat the blandest, least enticing food until such time as BA let me go home. Then I went downstairs and had puri bhaji, sambar and pork medallions in red wine jus for my breakfast.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Yes “Alex” (or whatever your real name is), but have you seen the news that Lancs have signed Simon Katich and LMCOG Shivnarine Chanderpaul? Both of them. At the same time!

    As we all know, Katich is to open flowing cricket what Paul Collingwood is to, er, open flowing cricket. Add to that the man who was not out in over a thousand consecutive innings, and I can see some successful, although not necessarily interesting, times ahead for Lancs.

    “…with Kent eventually being all out for seven. Meanwhile, Day 4 of the County Championship match at Old Trafford, and Lancashire will resume their first innings on 537 for nought, a lead of 537. Up to Chester-le-Street now, where Durham seem to be fading under the pressure of all being ones to watch…”

  2. lack of photos on these match reports.

    the mere description of your bowels waking you twice in the night simply doesn’t cut it anymore.

    we need proof.

  3. Apologies, but we are limited by the internet cafe.

    There will be a special match report that features photos shortly after we return (whenever that might be).

  4. The IPL is combination of Sports and entertainment. The IPL has broken all the rules of the gentlemen’s game by bringing in beautiful and talented cheerleaders celebrities from bollywoood. How abour,we see one of them umpire an IPL match? We need some ladies on the field too. Check this out

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