Quote of the year

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“I’ve got a wife and child now and don’t have much time to worry about toilet seats and taping bats to the ceiling.” – Neil McKenzie

You know what it’s like when you’re younger and you’re free to do as you please, you can merrily worry about toilet seats to your heart’s content.

You’re in the mood for taping a bat to the ceiling? You damn well tape a bat to the ceiling. ‘There it is. There’s my bat. Taped to the ceiling. Job done. That is a beautiful piece of handiwork.’

It would ruin the beauty of the quote if we gave you the background, suffice to say that Neil McKenzie used to be a bit mental and we’ve warmed to him an extraordinary amount as a consequence.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Maybe he had a cricket mad younger sibling, who was better than him. To avoid humiliation he taped said sibling’s bat to the ceiling and taunted him.

    At University some people in my digs did a similar thing with a particular noisy midget of a cleaner. They taped her Vacuum Cleaner to the ceiling, and, it’s fair to say, that shut her up.

  2. Somehow fretting over toilet seats and bat taping don’t suggest a wild and lascivious bachelorhood…

  3. I love Neil McKenzie. There’s a match report coming your way to explain why I love Neil McKenzie.

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