Rob Key and “ha ha”-gate

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Rob Key’s on Twitter now. We knew we had to make contact, but we were painfully aware that we’ve spent the last three or four years being mental about him on the internet. This made the situation a little awkward.

We knew Rob had seen the greatest post of all time, so we asked him if he happened to have a website where he’d published weird pictures of us, saying it would make the situation easier for us if he had.

Rob said:

“Ha ha”

During a sleepless night, we considered this response at great length. It could mean three things.

  1. Rob thought we were funny and expressed this using the words ‘ha ha’
  2. Rob thinks we’re annoying and gave a shortened, sarcastic laugh using the words ‘ha ha’ rather than ‘ha ha ha’
  3. Rob was talking to someone else

After many hours of deliberation, we have decided that Rob thought we were funny. Furthermore, we have also concluded that we are now, unquestionably, ‘best friends forever’.

Despite our BFF friendship status, Rob isn’t following us on Twitter which means that hopefully he won’t see these demented ramblings (unless one of you grasses us up).

Finding out that we write entire posts based on the words ‘ha ha’ might cripple his interaction with us somewhat.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. I wouldn’t be so sure. The lovely Ms Canterbury got a “ha ha ha” earlier. Maybe it’s a Kent thing.

  2. Rob Key will not have thought you are funny, KC.

    He might, though, have thought you were TRYING TO BE funny, like the wise man said on Cricinfo.

  3. Another ill-advised attempt. Will we never learn?

    The answer is no. Anyone who knows us will tell you that.

  4. I thrust another of your KeyEulogies at him today O King – the one where you laud his all-roundedness (rather than his all-roundness). At least he is one up on most cricketers with their hoi-polloi following and has a royal stalker .

  5. Way to play down our massively inappropriate level of obsession, Ceci.

    Oh well, we’ve only ourself to blame. Who would have thought that there would ever be consequences to our behaviour?

    There never were with Dirk Benedict.

  6. Maybe professional sportsmen are more comfortable with the adoration of other grown men than other of us would be.

    The Greatest Post was before I had discovered this corner of the web. Thank you, just thank you, for sharing it with me now

  7. Fear not O king – your veneration of mighty Rob is as nothing compared to the stalkerish glee with which sarahcanterbury and I pounce on Bert’s words. We’re sure he’s not really called Bert, but are positive he is louche and dangerous. We are turning into off-season groupies

  8. Let’s be clear about this, Ceci and I will be EXTREMELY sorry if Bert is not indeed louche and dangerous. Moreover, we long to know his true identity, with a yearning not felt since our King pondered making contact by tweet with his Pink hero.

  9. I think I used to know Bert’s real identity (from a letter in a cricket magazine, the text of which accorded with a comment from Bert on Kingcricket). I couldn’t remember it if I tried though.

  10. Bert was great at county level… that’s a good clue Andy7 but it leaves me no closer to his true identity.

  11. Google ‘ louche + dangerous + cricket ‘ and an artilce on Murali pops up – is Bert the pseudonym of one of the greatest bowlers in Test cricket?

    If not, then is Andy hinting that Bert is in fact Mark Ramprakash?

  12. Rob Key having a Twitter account redefines pointlessness.

    Simply repeat “Didn’t score any runs today” ad nauseum interspersed with the occasional doughnut break.

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