We said after the last Test that you need spectacular performances to win Tests and you also need them to give you some breathing room in case of a bad day. England got away with one day of buttery fingers thanks to Tim Ambrose’s hundred and James Anderson’s five wickets.
Ryan Sidebottom got England across the line however, because he’s the very picture of reliability right now. Not literally – if you look at his picture, you think: ‘Get away from me, hippy. How about getting a hair cut and buying some shoes? No, I don’t want to smoke some moss near that weird bit of rock on top of the hill.’
We hope Ryan Sidebottom and Andrew Strauss are getting on well. They should make a really poor-standard sitcom about them.
He’s an uptight businessman with a classical education while he’s a laid-back drop out. For some hugely-contrived reason, they have to share a house together. Andrew can’t understand why Ryan doesn’t open his post as soon as it’s come through the door. Ryan can’t understand why Andrew gets so worked up when the chickens go upstairs and sleep on his bed. All the neighbours think they’re gay.
New Zealand v England, second Test at Wellington – day five
England 342 (Tim Ambrose 102, Paul Collingwood 65, Mark Gillespie 4-79, Jacob Oram 3-46)
New Zealand 198 (Ross Taylor 53, Daniel Vettori 50 not out, James Anderson 5-73, Paul Collingwood 3-23)
England 293 (Alastair Cook 60, Paul Collingwood 59, Jacob Oram 3-44)
New Zealand 311 (Brendon McCullum 85, Ross Taylor 55, Ryan Sidebottom 5-105)