Australia / England

Winning the Ashes isn’t shit

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England's Ashes

That was nice, wasn’t it? Did you enjoy it?

DON'T BE LIKE GATT!

Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.

Coincidence?

Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?

Similar deliveries:

As another Ashes series gets underway, please tell us we aren’t in “oh shit” territory again already Default ThumbnailWinning the Ashes Down Under by Andrew Strauss with Simon Hughes

29 comments

  1. Luved it.

    Daisy and I have cracked a nice looking bottle of Aussie Tempranillo, our Ashes weeks of abstinence from Aussie wine are at an end!!

  2. Fantastic!

    And . . . we need to make winning a habit.

    I hope this Ashes win isn’t used as an excuse by the counties/ECB as a reason to delay much needed reform of English/Welsh cricket. We don’t want to relive the experience of a 5-0 drubbing over in Oz, 2010-11.

    But, yes – GREAT win!!!

  4. At the moment the Ashes were (was?) won roughly 9 out of 10 TVs in some bar or other were telling us about Chelsea beating Fulhum.

  5. Loved it? I am still ecstatic, repeating it to myself over and over like Gollum with his precious.

    Of course, over here in Canada nobody gives a damn.

  6. Oh yes.
    I have a hole in my ceiling and a gammy hand now but am self-medicating with champagne.

  7. Oh we won did we. How splendid. Look forward to getting thrashed over there soon. Last time out I thought we’d hang onto them in Oz so at least I’ve learned from that.

    That was epic though. Knighthood for all our 12th men…

  8. Strange old day. I was umpiring at Car Colston v Flintham (local derby) and there was very little in the way of good news coming out of the pavillion – in fact no-one seemed overly interested (or was it just the belief that if they had shown interest Australia would have beaten us after all?)
    Then drinks came out in the second innings with the news that Australia were 9 down and Harmy was on a hattrick.
    This prompted a Car Colston batting collapse and we all went to the pub to watch the highlights on Sky.

  9. I was chatting with my girlfriend when we won, and there was much jumping up and down. Lots of jumping up and down and making shouty noises. Bless.

    If Key had played, we would have won in three days. That is, we would have won the series 5-0 in three days. FACT.

  11. I was there, with my Aussie soon-to-be-husband and my Aussie soon-to-be-inlaws. So it was flipping GREAT for me, but for them, not so much. We are getting married at the oval in a few days; I hope the memory isn’t too painful and that he still turns up.

    Afterwards we went to the pub and I had pimm’s. We then went home and the Australian contingent put on the AFL that they had recorded this morning, presumably to distract themselves so that nobody self-harmed.

    Is it too late to order loads of little replica ashes urns to have as wedding favours? It is, isn’t it. Is it too late to name the wedding tables after each of the Australian last-innings wickets? Table 4, ponting run out (flintoff).

  12. i feel as happy as when I was nine years old and there were seven jaffa cakes in my packet instead of the mere six i was expecting.

  13. Twas wonderful.. I was suffering after a heavy Saturday night, and went to the pub on my own for some food and hair of the dog. Ended up joining a lovely group of chaps who shared their champagne with me, when it was over. There was much cheering, hugging and shaking of hands. Lovely!

    Feel terrible physically, after three days of hitting the auld pop, but mentally, am still ecstatic.

  14. Hope you have a smashing day, Miriam. At the Oval too! Marvellous. And I hope that you can get your Ashes jokes in somehow. Are you making a speech? That would be a fine opportunity.

  15. Thank you bert. I am of course making a speech. Something along the lines of “the last time I was here, it was to see Australia handing their balls over for England to keep in her handbag. This time, though…” . You get the idea.

  16. Think you know I enjoyed it KC. Ecstatically ensconced en famille at yours. Hope you’ve apologised to the neighbours for the screaming.

  17. Miriam – That is a marvellous plan!
    I have total wedding envy.
    Have you managed to book Ramps to do a cha cha cha at the reception?

  18. The opportunity is too good to miss, Miss:

    To tell the truth, I wasn’t sure how to start this speech – like Marcus North, I was STUMPED.

    I do hope the bar remains well stocked this evening. It would be terrible if our Australian guests were to get quite settled and then find the beer has RUN OUT. Even worse would be if they restocked the bar and then were to RUN OUT AGAIN five balls later.

    I trust that everyone has enjoyed their meal – [name of dish] for most people, but three of our Australian guests insisted on getting DUCK.

    Steady with the drink, everyone, especially you Aussies. I think this place has seen enough Australians COLLAPSE recently.

    I’m sure you can do better.

  19. Bert, that is brilliant , I hope you don’t mind if I copy all of it word for word. Sw, no ramps at the reception. The boy is finding it hard enough to deal with getting married beneath a portrait of alec stewart.

  20. I think you can add to the speech something along the lines of “and make sure you all remain steady on your feet, as, like last time I was here, there’ll be no emergency RAMPS here at the Oval…………….”

    And of course you can start the speech “My LORD’S (115 runs), OVAL (197 runs), Ladies and Gentlemen………….”

  21. You’re very welcome, Miriam. It’s a different sort of match, of course, but I’m sure it qualifies for a Match Report here when you have the chance.

  22. I expect you’ll have to say something nice about the new Mr Miriam in your speech…. how about “I was totally BOWLED over by his BROAD smile”

    Will you do us a full match report of the day?

  23. I was driving around town listening to TMS when we won. I screamed and hooted the horn for five whole minutes (or so it seemed).

    I then got breathalised as police didn’t like hooting horns in built up areas so stopped me.

    Luckily, i was fine. And they were English and fully understood the nature of the joy.

  24. A match report will be forthcoming. I would have liked a computer to have been available for an all-comers live blog.

  27. Have a great day, Miriam.

    KC – just interested….what were you doing to your mum to make her scream so?

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