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An apology to King Cricket readers

Bowled on 24th May, 2010 at 09:03 by
Category: King Cricket

We didn’t actually pay any attention to the cricket at all over the weekend. How should we be punished?

  • By working as Michael Clarke’s ego masseur
  • By working as South Africa’s actual masseur
  • By having to share our lunch with Mark Cosgrove
  • By being the person nominated to let Ian Botham know that he’s wrong about something
  • By having to look at Shaun Tait’s face for a bit

You should almost certainly splash out on On Warne by Gideon Haigh

Make an appeal
  1. Reply
    Ceci   //   May 24th, 2010 at 09:19

    mmmmm SA masseur ….

  2. Reply
    Bert   //   May 24th, 2010 at 09:22

    mmmmm Shaun Tait’s face ….

  3. Reply
    BRS   //   May 24th, 2010 at 10:08

    All of the above? And, by listening to M. Hayden’s statements?

  4. Reply
    Suave   //   May 24th, 2010 at 10:22

    The pickle brained fucknut’s correction facility. Seeing him goe puce would be good.

    Although, i’d laugh at that, so maybe not.

  5. Reply
    Alok   //   May 24th, 2010 at 10:43

    all of the above… at the same time…while writing abt cricket

  6. Reply
    Bob Patterson   //   May 24th, 2010 at 11:33

    A visit to Michael Vaughan’s “Art” Gallery.

    At least it wouldn’t take long.

  7. Reply
    Dandy Dan   //   May 24th, 2010 at 12:10

    Post something along the lines that you no longer appreciate the talents of Rob Key.

  8. Reply
    Ged   //   May 24th, 2010 at 14:02

    You should be the Pietersen family nanny/nappy-changer for a few days.

  9. Reply
    Ged   //   May 24th, 2010 at 14:26

    Or the spokesperson for Durham CCC who explains to the angry members why their seemingly invincible team is all of a sudden getting rolled for a score like 121 batting first at home against woeful Kent.

  10. Reply
    Jill   //   May 24th, 2010 at 16:17

    Who reads you for the cricket?

  11. Reply
    The Dawg   //   May 24th, 2010 at 18:42

    Let’s cut out the ‘woeful Kent’ please. Use a more fitting term such as glorious or infinitely wonderful.

    Steve Smith’s face. Look at that for a while. That’ll learn you.

  12. Reply
    A P Webster   //   May 24th, 2010 at 19:22

    I suggest the following, horrible punishment:

    Find a co-worker/acquaintance* who is ridiculously obsessed with a long-running/overly complex* TV series and say the following:

    “So, I’ve never watched The Wire/24/Lost*, but I hear you’re a fan. Can you tell me the plot since the first episode, pausing to explain why each event is so mind-blowingly ‘awesome’?”

    *delete as appropriate

  13. Reply
    V   //   May 25th, 2010 at 07:31

    Plastering with Ashley Giles perhaps ?

  14. Reply
    Ged   //   May 25th, 2010 at 08:15

    Sharing a prison cell with Charles Colville for a couple of nights?

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