Ian Bell doesn’t help himself

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< 1 minute read

You wish, IanIan Bell gets some unwarranted abuse, but if Paul Harris bowls a ball that will hit the stumps if it goes straight on, you bloody well get your bat in the way.

We distinctly remember Ian Bell leaving a straight one from Shane Warne before now and that was bad enough. Paul Harris’s variations are ‘the one that doesn’t grip’, ‘the one that goes straight on’, ‘the arm ball’ and ‘the dart’.

Sometimes we feel moved to defend Ian Bell, but at other times, it’s like telling people that your mate who’s a wanker isn’t actually a wanker at all. You say he’s just opinionated, but then next thing you know he’s pushing a pregnant woman over because he thought she was pushing in at the supermarket checkout.


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  1. Trott will never do anything half that amusing.

    It is quite rare to get a real belly laugh from cricket you know and after all it is Christmas, time of cheer and all that cra… stuff.

  2. Sometimes I start to feel bad for the Sherminator. That nickname for a start and then all the snide criticism (which to my shame I duly snigger at) must really wear him down.

    Then I remind myself that he has more talent in his ginger pubes than I have in my entire body and that he gets to play for England and I no longer feel too bad about being a knob. If losers like me didn’t have someone like him to sneer at we might start to reflect on the fact that we’re pushing 40 and will never really do anything of note, let alone play a beautiful sport for our country and get paid wheelbarrows of money for the privilege. I need the schadenfreude, dammit.

  3. You once said that losing a wicket to Zimbabwe makes you the worst cricketer to represent your country.

    What does it make you if you concede a wicket against Paul Harris?

    What happens if you concede 5 of them?

    Paul Harris isn’t quite as bad as Zimbabwe (I don’t think that’s humanely possible), but he’s a “South African” and a “spin bowler” and I believe that those two words don’t even belong in the same sentence.

    I also believe the words “Ian Bell” and “selected for England” don’t belong in the same sentence either, but for some reason, they’re regularly used together.

  4. Very unfair.

    Harris had been bowling a liquorice allsorts of undercutters, darts, arm balls and lobs.

    Harris then throws up his variety ball, the offspinner, and Belly to his credit picked it perfectly. Unfortunately it must have hit a crack and went straight on.

  5. My impression is that he suddenly realized he had never personally checked if the stumps leave enough room to let the ball go through. You can clearly see in the pictures he is evaluating the fact carefully. He is keeping a sharp eye on the ball. Sadly not a bat.
    Is he trying to grow a beard lately? That may be another good alternative.

  6. What a difference one Test later…Belly gets 140 to set up scoreboard pressure on the Saffers. And oh dear it’s Kallis now to reprimand with snide comments about leaving one and getting bowled. And oh yes two other SA batsmen do the same thing!
    England win by an innings and 98 runs. Howzat my friends?
    Bet you don’t mock Kallis and Co.

  7. But hey made the difference to us drawing the series rather than losing. Good old Bell outplayed Prince, Duminy, de Villiers. Didn’t de Villiers get a sole 50? Outplayed Strauss, KP, Trott and Prior by a mile. More runs and better average than Cook. Match winning innings of 140 and saved the day after batting for 5 hours for 78. Not bad for a ‘contemptible little f…” What I like about Bell is that he has more guts than the so called admired KP and Trott. He fought back from the sidelines and all the hatred of the media and other idiots.

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