RWT Key lbw bowled Martin for 24

It was too high also.

And a no ball.

And I heard from a friend at the ground, who knows the lie of the land, that they’d been ball tampering just prior to the delivery.

I heard that it didn’t even happen, and the whole thing is just a big conspiracy to stop Rob Key getting in the England side.

I also heard that the CIA, or possibly Mossad, are involved.

Can the CIA cope with your polite disagreement?

The ball didn’t even come from the bowler’s hand, but from a grassy knoll just beyond the boundary.

You are good people.

You are welcome here.

Rob cited afterwards in an interview that he got out LBW because he felt sorry for Chris Martin. He said Martin will never have a chance to get a scalp as great as his again, she he gave him his moment in the sun.

He also stated that he plans to score a minimum of 400 runs in the second innings, to make up for it.

I do believe the umpire got the wrong man and Key shouldn’t have been sent off

I refuse to believe that Rob Key has EVER been genuinely dismissed.

Yes, his average is actually infinite – even when the bails appeared to be removed, it was all Jedi mind tricks/the Matrix/mass hallucination.

I thought it was pretty straight

You would Mr Martin, you’re from the wrong hemisphere. Your water goes down the plughole the wrong way.

In this hemisphere it was missing a fourth stump down leg.

I’m feeling all warm and gooey inside that everyone loves Bobby so much.

It is impossible that he was lbw. It had to be another obscure and confuse form of dismissal, such as the “no genitals” or the “hunchback at the slip”. We are going to need photographic proof of the incident to know.

The umpire should have given benefit of the doubt to Rob, after all with Key at the crease not only are the stumps obscured, but it’s also impossible to see the boundary between third man and fine leg.

I shall refer you to the 2008 trim version of Mr Key, Moses. Your take is so last year.