2013 County Championship – chapter 10

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This County Championship coverage is hanging by a thread.


By. A. Thread.

1st – Yorkshire

Yorkshire now have an eight-point lead. Like Sussex in our last round-up, they failed to beat Surrey and had to make do with a draw. We may at some point have to consider the possibility that Surrey are improving – or it may just be that they had temporary use of Kevin Pietersen who made 177 not out. Other than that, Andrew Gale made 148 in Yorkshire’s first innings and appears to be in form, while Gary Keedy took 7-99 when they batted the second time.

2nd – Sussex

Sussex and Nottinghamshire swap places even though they drew with each other. Sussex secured one extra bonus point by batting fractionally more quickly and another for taking six wickets in 110 overs whereas Nottinghamshire took five. Both Ed Joyce for Sussex and James Taylor for Nottinghamshire made 204 not out. Rory Hamilton-Brown made 113 for Sussex. To spread things out, we’ll cover the exceptional bowling performances in the Nottinghamshire section of this update.

3rd – Nottinghamshire

Chris Jordan took 5-130 for Sussex. Considering the context, this was arguably the most impressive performance of what has been a very impressive season thus far. He’s now the top wicket-taker in the first division. Born in Barbados but with a British passport, he might have a decision to make before too long.

The next chapter

Nowt until the 8th of July and we can’t be arsed listing matches which are that long away. We could probably have omitted this section, in hindsight.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. To quote from the Classics (Homer I think, might be Virgil):

    The Sword of Damocles is hanging over my head
    And I’ve got a feeling someone’s gonna be cutting that thread
    Oh, woe is me
    My life is a misery
    Oh, can’t you see
    I’m at the start of a pretty big downer

    Sha-la-la-la that ain’t no crime
    That ain’t no crime

    Wise words indeed.

  2. Ed Joyce has got himself into nick just in time for the ashes. I predict an England call up… or not.

  3. You cannot omit the “Next Chapter” section. It is always the best bit of these columns.

    Whether it is riddled with mistakes or merely a smidgeon of post-modern existential angst, the “Next Chapter” section is always a masterpiece.

    1. The crowd have payed their Monet to watch the game. McGrath Renoirs in to bowl the Hirst delivery on a raging Turner. The ball keeps a bit Lowry, strikes the batsman on the point of the Hockney, trapping him Lautrec before wicket, making him look a complete Freud.
      The Nauman Emin sees the ball Whistler past his nose. He doesn’t know Ambramovic end of the bat to Warhold.

    2. Pat yourself on the back, Sam! That must have taken upwards of ten minutes – you must have set some kind of record here in the comments section for being a thinking man.

  4. In other news, every day of the England v Essex warm up match has been reported in negative headline tones on Cricinfo. “England Struggling”, “Decends Into Farce” and now “Tame Win”.

    It strikes me as bizarre language in coverage for a warm up game.

    Has George Dobell fallen under the spell of that evil fiend yet excellent communicator Boff Lehmann?

    1. To cricinfo’s credit, they also had;

      Compton’s runs can’t ease his pain

      …which I laughed at, anyway…

  5. In other other news, everyone’s favourite cheating pastry treat cheat, Danish Kaneria, is disgusted that his lifetime ban has been upheld. I’ll break out the world’s smallest violin for you, buddy. Fuck you very much.

    1. PLEASE use the nordic aviary joke again, KC.

      Danish humour is so very…


    2. Danish Kaneria? Sounds more like a Nordic aviary than a cricketer.

      Now he’s neither.

    3. Q. Why does the Danish canary feel cold?

      A. Because he has no teeth.

      You have to be Danish to enjoy that joke, I am reliably informed.

    4. Someone should do a Nick Knight one. It would comprise entirely of variations on the sentence: “Will it go all the way? Yep. Will be four.”

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