It’s all coming together perfectly for England

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Joe Root’s geting comfortable in his bowling boots. Tim Bresnan and Graeme Swann are enjoying the feel of their batting gloves. Except for the fact that the batsmen aren’t making runs and the bowlers aren’t taking wickets, everything’s going exactly as planned in England’s warm-up match against Essex.

But who cares? Form is form, right? As long as someone vaguely related to the England cricket team is doing something vaguely cricket-related in vaguely competent fashion, it’s all good.

Other encouraging signs ahead of the first Ashes Test

  • Graham Gooch is really getting it through with his Wangotron 9000
  • Steven Finn has managed to identify David Gower from quite some distance away
  • Jonny Bairstow has a new box


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  1. By the way, the comments in the post we’ve linked to are particularly good if you’re the kind of person who reads the comments, which you are, because this is a comment.

  2. By your own incontrovertible logic in Cricinfo last week these are not just encouraging signs but strategic plays of the highest order:

    The England batsmen will be due some runs and the England bowlers due some wickets at just the right time.

    However, England now have to contend with Boff Lehmann and his excellent communication skills – that will not be so easy. Boff seems to be taking David Warner’s side – I suspect that Lehmann will soon be calling Joe Root names, such as “12 year old” and “prune face” to put off our young star. That’s the sort of thing excellent communicators do.

    1. Good point, Deep Cower.

      Superb logic and excellently communicated if I might say so.

  3. Presumably this “due a few runs” argument isn’t confined to just cricket. I mean, if one of us were to say, for example, “Top work KC, you were really in fine fettle last week with your humorous yet thought-provoking articles, both here and at Cricinfo”, that would imply the writer has seen a distinct collapse in form this week and is expecting drivel for the foreseeable future.

    That’s the reason those of us with a kind heart don’t say such things, because we don’t want you realise that there’s only bad times ahead. Conversely, every time someone says you aren’t as funny as Alan Tyers you can take it as a massive pat on the back.

  4. If England could somehow engineer a way for Finn to take a couple of stumpings and get Bell up in the gantry to give out a few close run outs, I reckon we can write this game off in the “resounding success” category

    1. I particularly like the fact that the airline has refused to name the player.

      It could only possibly have been…

      …Upul Theronglevaltogedera

    2. Topical humour, not racial surely, Sam?

      The news item IS about a Sri Lankan player and a certain Upul has been scoring big today in Jamaica…

    3. It was Ramith Rambukwella. I thought I’d heard of him but now I’m fairly sure I hadn’t.

    4. Oh Dan, please!

      We all try so hard around here to prevent facts from getting in the way of a good story. Then you come along…

      …still, the article on The Indian Express is a classic, naming the culprit in the headline, describing him as “unnamed” in the first paragraph and then stating “namely Ramith Rambukwella” in the final paragraph:

      Private Eye could not have done better in its parody section!

    5. Huh, so it turns out I had heard of him, because I distinctly remember being excruciatingly bored and clicking around on Cricinfo and finding out that Sri Lanka had picked the son of a minister. And now he’s gone and mistaken a cabin door for a toilet door. Wonder how his dad (who it does seem fair to assume is an excellent communicator) will feel about his son’s poor ministration of information. Perhaps a bit let down.

  5. Meanwhile, the Australian batsmen are foolishly wasting their quota of runs against Worcestershire.

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