Throughout history, the British have had a fail-safe method for dealing with times of crisis. They find the most sensible person among their number and they tell them that they’re in charge.
A new era has dawned. An era of stoicism. An era of doing the decent thing. An era of being sensible.
In a prepared statement, Andrew Strauss may or may not have said:
“Under my captaincy, there will be no shady dealings nor veiled threats delivered through the press. If I’ve got a problem with a chap, we’ll jolly well thrash it out over a glass of port down at the club.
“And I didn’t get where I am today by expressing emotion, so as from now, England will be operating a ‘no emotion policy’.
“When one of our chaps gets one of their chaps out, rather than whooping and roaring, we will merely gather round and take it in turns to shake his hand.
“Equally, when one of their chaps dismisses one of our chaps, we will remove our hat, say ‘well bowled, sir’ and as we depart the field of play, we will thank the umpires for their sterling work.”
Andrew Strauss is going to GET THE JOB DONE. He is going to get the job done largely through having the team wear ties when fielding.