Australia still struggling with their over rate

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< 1 minute read

Spitting on your own hands does not slow time - nothing slows timeRicky Ponting’s been fined again because Australia have been dithering about not bowling their overs. Why it’s happening is such a mystery that Cricket Australia even began a study at the Gabba to monitor every minute of time lost during New Zealands’ innings.

During the match, Australia made some efforts to save time. Here is our advice regarding each time-saving measure.

Bowlers hurried back to their marks
Bowlers should not then become stationary for six minutes having attained that spot.

Left hats by the boundary
The location of headwear has no bearing on the duration of overs. The Baggy Green doesn’t increase wind resistance all that much, regardless of its poor design.

Used Michael Hussey to ferry caps to the umpires between overs
Maybe try using a fielder who isn’t patrolling the boundary. Boundary fielders have a long journey to make to the umpires and this will only elongate stoppages.

We still believe that Australia should implement our one point guide to getting through overs in a timely manner:

(1) Get a move on.

If Cricket Australia need help putting this into practice, we’d be happy to chair a committee dedicated to creating some sort of special agency that could be responsible for enforcing the main thrust of this blueprint.


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  1. Think the main problem is the incessant pointing and waving done by Punter after EVERY ball. Perhaps if Punter was forced to keep his hands in his pockets until actually fielding, the whole game would speed up?

  2. You are wrong in your caption KC. Travelling at the speed of light – or close to the speed of light – slows time.

    It is all in the special theory of relativity.

  3. I just like the King to get these things right. First there was the typo about 15 posts ago, now this. It’s not as tight as it used to be … In the days of the blue box.

    And true about slowing time only relatively. But isn’t time relative in any case? That’s the whole point.

  4. It depends on where you are looking from. If you are watching someone travel at the speed of light, then the time they are experiencing is slower than yours. So time has slowed.

    I have now drowned.

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