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Author: Count Cricket

September 4, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – September 4th

2 minute readGood day to you all. I, Count Cricket, have been following Durham around these last few weeks in my role as King Cricket’s roving county cricket reporter. I have developed a taste for Onions, you see. He really is rather delicious. A few sips of warming brandy, combined with the

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July 31, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – July 31st

< 1 minute readGood day to you all. Count Cricket here. Apologies for my absence, but certain developments have led to my spending several weeks indoors. Frustrating, but unavoidable. Fortunately, I did manage to read the newspaper during this unscheduled ‘downtime’ and have kept tabs on County Championship developments. I can basically sum

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June 6, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county round-up – June 6th

< 1 minute readGood day to you all. Last week, I, Count Cricket, attended Durham v Lancashire at Chester-le-Street. Lancashire won and lifted themselves to mid-table respectability. Some damp weather caused me to seek shelter in the toilets for a time. While there, I met a pleasant woman who informed me that King

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May 29, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – May 29th

< 1 minute readGood day to you all. Last week, I, Count Cricket, attended Sussex v Nottinghamshire. Nottinghamshire won and so went to the top of the table. The weather was good, so I protected my pallid skin by withdrawing to Hove’s toilets where I quaffed brandy from my thermos. Very pleasant it

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May 20, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – May 20th

< 1 minute readGood day to you. I am Count Cricket. This week I was at Edgbaston where batting conditions were so friendly even Lancashire passed 300. Following a draw, Warwickshire remain top of the table. One of the most notable performances was that of Rikki Clarke. During one of my visits to

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May 14, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – May 14th

< 1 minute readGood day to you all. I, Count Cricket, attended the Nottinghamshire v Middlesex match last week in my role as King Cricket’s county reporter. Due to heavy rain, I was forced to seek refuge in the toilets. Fortunately, I discovered that I could emerge and check the scoreboard from time

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May 6, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – May 6th

< 1 minute readGood day. I am Count Cricket. My parole officer told me it would aid my rehabilitation to find some form of employment and King Cricket has offered to pay me £2.70 to cover the county cricket season for his “website”. I assume he needs to subcontract because he is too

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Latest features

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Latest comments

  1. King Cricket on A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buyApril 13, 2026

    Have you seen the photo of him on the Beeb? Not the most flattering. He looks like Albert Steptoe.

  2. A P Webster on A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buyApril 13, 2026

    Was unbeaten with the bat in both innings as well. An up-and-coming all-rounder

  3. Sam on A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buyApril 13, 2026

    Decent performance from Lancashire's skipper. Looks a good prospect. Shame second division doesn't count.

  4. Ged Ladd on A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buyApril 9, 2026

    Clearly someone once said told Peter Svidler en passant [did you see what I did there] that cricket is like…

  5. Tim on Skullwatch: Jamie Smith looks safe thenApril 9, 2026

    Ah the weak shower head of time. Doesn't wash away everything, but probably leaves everyone with different memories/ingrained stains from…

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • A cat finally being won over to cricket by the sheer ridiculousness of the Ashes
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RSS Match reports

  • Match Report: Ireland vs England, 2nd T20, Malahide
  • Keep your enemies closer | a 2019 Edgbaston Ashes Test match report
  • Match report: Sixes, Fulham

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • A very high quality cricket book with a lagoony backdrop
  • A Device-like cricket-style bat in a Mexican corrido music video

About King Cricket

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Recent Posts

  • If you want to bat for England, bat for Surrey. If you want to bowl for England, bowl for Sussex. And if you want to open for England…
  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
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  • It’s time for some unsettling disloyalty: If England’s leaders aren’t being ejected then some of the players will be… but which ones?
  • How can you, as an England fan, possibly tolerate this world without skulls?

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