Broken-window-at-Lord’s-gate – the truth

Cricket at home always ends like this

Matt Prior: I feel a profound sense of frustration at the cruel manner of my dismissal. What ought a man do to combat this uneasy sensation?

Andrew Strauss: Smash that window, innit, brother.

Matt Prior: Alas, my calm disposition prevents me from committing such brutish acts.

At that exact moment, a spirit possessed a hammer and then lost itself in frenetic dancing, drunk on the joyful feelings associated with once again having physical form.

Inevitably, the window was broken and equally inevitably, Prior and Strauss took a blood oath to never speak the truth due to their extreme fear of scientists who ask too many questions.

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11 Appeals

  1. Smashing stuff. Bit of a pane though. Prior had a glazed expression on his face. Must be in the frame for a fine. But he’s still a glass act.

    • I think Prior’s conscience is clear.

    • I think it’s pretty easy to see through this story. The ECB really are walking on broken glass with excuses like this, it’s just become so tiring. I’m shattered.

  2. I think the explanation is quite simple, and I don’t see why anyone is making such a fuss about it. Prior simply threw his bat at the window in a fit of rage, with the intention of shattering it over the MCC members below, hopefully causing some injury to someone. If it could be that especially smug lady who smirked at him on the way in, all the better. Can anyone tell me what’s wrong with that?

    • Shame on you, Bert, you’re settling for less than perfection. If Matthew Prior was trying to seriously injure someone, he should have his actions called into question for failing to do so. It is the only way England will become the number one test side in the world.

  3. Smart chap this Prior is. Now nobody will remember the byes he conceded in this match, everyone will only remembered the shattered glass. Good move.

  4. No, this is wrong. Adding a ‘gate’ at the end of an incident is only allowed if the incident is serious enough. A broken window does not a gate make.

  5. Prior is an asshole. His disregard for his own and others safety is unforgivable. I’d sue that prick if i could.
    Change the glass to bars – treat them like animals if they insist on acting like animals.

    • I agree they’re animals brad, but replacing glass with bars leaves the possibility that a bat could pass BETWEEN the bars, flying over the balcony and embedding itself in one or more MCC members below. As such the only safe course of action is to brick up the window and hang Matt Prior from Old Father Time as an example to all careless cricketers who visit in the future.

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